Everything Changes
by itisunreal
Summary: There are two universally known truths: everything ends, and nothing ever stays the same.
1. Stay With Me Forever and Always

_**Hola peeps. I'm totally not new to this site, but I am new to writing on it, so tell me what you think if you feel like it. The good, the bad, the ugly, any and all is helpful. **  
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_**Sorry if anybody seems/ is out of character.**_

_**No beta was used in the making of this story. Any and all mistakes are my own.**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own a single thing. This is just for fun. Workin on my writin skills.**_

_Forever and Always_

"_She's sitting at the table, the hours get later_

_He was supposed to be here_

_She's sure he would have called_

_She waits a little longer, there's no one in the driveway_

_No one's said they've seen him_

_Why, is something wrong?_

_She looks back to the window_

_Suddenly the phone rings_

_A voice says something's happened_

_That she should come right now_

_Her mind goes to December_

_She thinks of when he asked her_

_He bent down on his knees first_

_And he said_

_I want you forever, forever and always_

_Through the good and the bad and the ugly_

_We'll grow old together_

_Forever and always"_

"Hello, Dr. Foster. How was lunch?" Heidi asked, sitting the mail in front of her boss.

"It was," she paused, unsure of what to say. She had been waiting in a café down the street for Cal for an hour. He said he'd catch up with her after his meeting, but he hadn't showed, and wasn't answering his phone. Granted, she didn't find that particular point all that concerning he didn't answer all the time. The worrisome part was he wasn't picking up for her. Smiling unconvincingly at Heidi, Gillian sighed, "Alright. Have you seen Cal? He should be back by now."

She shook her head, "I'm sorry, Dr. Foster. I haven't seen him since he left this morning."

Gillian set her bag down, taking off her coat she folded it over her arm then picked back up her bag and the mail Heidi had set out. "Thanks. If you see him tell him I'm in his office."

Heidi nodded, listening to her boss' heels tapping down the hall. Something had seemed off with her for the last few weeks. The receptionist couldn't quite place her finger on it though. Just something in the way she smiled nowadays, it seemed less real somehow, but she didn't asked, it wasn't any of her business.

Gillian made it to Cal's office without running into anyone else, and she was thankful for that. She needed time to get her thoughts in order without any distractions. Dropping her things on the couch, she threw the mail on one of the many desks littering the room. Weaving through the rest of the furniture she plopped down in his chair, and turned to face the window. Sighing, she closed her eyes and let her head rest against the back of the chair. Hopefully the day would end faster than it began.

She couldn't believe this was happening now, after everything they'd been through. They made it to the same page, and life decided to start throwing crave balls. Turning to his desk, she rummaged through the drawers until she came up with a bottle of aspirin. Ignoring the fact she didn't have water, she popped two into her mouth and swallowed them.

She sat, forever, lost in her thoughts. Only when her cell rang did she realize hours had past. Snapping out of the seat, and nearly tripping over her shoes, she quickly glossed over the last few hours to see if she could remember them falling off. Rushing to the couch, and she fumbled through her bag until she found the ringing contraption. Blowing a stray hair out of her face, she put a smile on and answered. "Hello?"

"Gillian?" The voice was calm with a hint of panic.

For a moment she couldn't tell who for was until she heard her name called again. It was with tinge of fear. Emily. She wondered what phone Emily was calling from, it hadn't been her ring tone, and she didn't recognize the number. Her stomach tightened into a hard knot. She swallowed hard wanting the lump in her throat to retreat. "Em, what's wrong?"

There was commotion in the back round, and she wished the girl would find somewhere quiet to talk, but she didn't say anything.

"You need to get here. It's dad." She was quiet as she spoke, and Gillian could picture her curled in on herself, the phone clutched in both hands.

"Where?"

"The hospital." A soft sob escaped the teenager's throat.

Hurriedly, she began gathering her things. The words rushed over her tongue, almost jumbled, but firm. "Emily, what happened?"

She heard raised voice over the line, and Gillian barely made out the girl's words before the call went dead. 'Just hurry.'

What had happened? Why had she hung up? If Emily was calling did that mean something was really wrong with Cal? What if he was dead? She stood stunned, her heart nearly beating out of her chest, staring at the phone in her hand.

Loker quickly rapped on the open door. Walking in, his head buried in a file, he missed Gillian jump, startled by his sudden appearance. "Hey, Boss Lady, where's the Boss Man? Cause I got a case here I think would be right up his ally." He waited, still reading over the details, and when he didn't receive an answer within a few moments he looked up. A look of half concealed fear was etched on her face, and it worried him. "Foster?"

Her eyes met his, and the contact started her moving again. "I've got to go." She ignored his presence as she went for her shoes. Managing to get them on the second time without the back folding in she hastily threw on her coat, grabbed her bag from the couch, and she went for the door.

"Wait…" His thought died before it made it to his lips though. She didn't stop, didn't look back. Tossing the file down, he followed her out into the hall running into Torres in the process.

Stepping back, she glared at him shaking the coffee from her hand. "What the hell?"

Ignoring her comment, he side stepped her and continued after Foster. She hurried after him. Setting the crumpled cup in the reception desk, Torres looked around quickly before wiping her hand on her jeans. They could always be washed. "What's going on?"

He didn't stop, but threw her a sideways glace. "No idea, she won't tell me."

Torres rolled her eyes. Passing by him, she grabbed Foster's arm sending her to a jolting stop. The older woman tried to break free, but it was useless, her hold was too tight.

"Let go." It was an order, and Torres half expected to keel over dead with the look she was receiving. It was odd and scary, between the two of them, Foster was always the calm level-headed one. She didn't glare or yell or threaten in a low voice, but here she was acting slightly like her partner, and it was a little terrifying for the protégé. "I have to go."

Refusing to let go, Torres watched Gillian struggle to break free. Suddenly, she stopped pulling, and dropped her head. Her shoulders heaved as she tried to steady her breathing. "You can't go anywhere like this you'll end up in a wreck. And then Lightman would kill us."

The simple statement broke the dam. Everything that happen, what she did know and what she didn't, became too much to keep inside. And she hated it. Hated that she was breaking, but mostly she hated that it was happening in front of her employees. She felt her knees waver as a sob slipped out then arms around her.

Torres looked horrified as she held Foster up. She shot Loker a questioning look only receiving a shrug in return. "Tell us what happened, and where you need to go. We'll take you."

It took several moments before she had enough air to speak again. When she looked up her eyes were unfocused, and in her daze they heard her muttered something. It took a moment longer for it to register with them. "Hospital."

Loker and Torres passed back knowing looks before ushering her to the car. They drove in silence, having nothing to say that would ease the tension.

Gillian sat in the passenger seat eyes staring out the window, but not seeing. Her mind wandered away from her, back to Christmas Day. Just a few months ago when everything had been alright, great even. Emily had left to spend the day with her mother, and she and Cal had spent the day lazing about. Lifetime movies, and an almost endless supply of sweets on hand.

_The movie was only half way through when he shut the TV off, rearranging himself on the couch to look at her. Resting his head on his fist, he watched her rolled her eyes and turn toward him._

"_Is there a reason you shut the movie off?" she asked exasperated, but amused. She was well beyond pleased that he had managed to sit there as long as he had. Four sappy Christmas movies, and enough sugar to kill an elephant she figured he would have snapped hours before._

"_Well, course there is or I wouldn't have done it," he said throwing this hands around. Licking his lips, he scooted closer, and placed his arm around her, pulling her into him. "I got a question."_

_She shook her head, shocked for a moment, and poked him in the chest. "You're asking to ask me a question?" She gave him a skeptical look._

"_It didn't sound like a question." The corners of his mouth pulled down, as he pretended to give it thought._

"_No, it was a statement, but it sounded like a question." Giving in, he nodded in the affirmative. "Alright," she drug the word out unsure if she was going to regret answering. _

_He licked his lips again. "Have you ever thought of getting remarried?"_

_The bluntness caught her off guard, that hadn't been what she thought would come out his mouth. If she thought about it, it wasn't the bluntness, it was the words themselves, he was always blunt. "I don't know. I guess I never thought about it." He frowned for a second before masking the hurt, but it wasn't fast enough, she saw, and quickly continued. "I guess it would depend on who was asking."_

_She cuddled closer to him. It was cute he was still so nervous about them even after it was official. He smiled at her, a real genuine smile, and she laughed. "What are you laughing at, might I ask?"_

_She put her hand on his chest, and looked up at him. "That better not have been your proposal, Cal Lightman." _

_He kissed the top of her head then rested his cheek there. "Course not, love._


	2. Stay With Me Forever and Always: Part 2

_**Hello again. Thanks for the review, I appreciate it. Here chapter two.**  
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_Forever and Always: Part 2_

"_She pulls up to the entrance_

_She walks right to the front desk_

_They lead her down a million halls, a maze that's never ending_

_They talk about what happened, but she can barely hear them_

_She tries to keep a straight face as she walks into the room_

_She sits by his bed side, holds his hand to tight_

_They talk about the kids they're gonna have and the good life_

_The house on the hillside, where they would stay_

_Stay there forever, forever and always_

_Through the good and the bad and the ugly_

_We'll grow old together, and always remember_

_Whether rich or for poor or for better_

_We'll still love each other, forever and always"_

"Foster?"

Jumping, she hadn't realized they'd stopped. At some point, she'd leaned against the window, her breath fogging it up. She felt like they'd been sitting there for hours. Her back hurt, muscles tense, and more than anything she wanted to get out of the car. Wanted to rush in there, and find them, him. But her hands shook, palms sweaty, and she could feel herself start to panic. Breaths shallow, the edges of her sight began to dim.

Loker unbuckled, and scooted to the middle seat. He shared a look with Torres before they went back to staring at Foster. They watched the terror set in. Her eyes were unfocused, and as her breath quickened she clamped down on the armrests.

Silently they argued over whether or not to let it run its course. Torres shook her head, eyes wide, brows down. Loker only shrugged as he reached out a hand and gently set it on Gillian's shoulder. She jolted, her head jerking a fraction of an inch toward him, eyes never leaving the dashboard. "We're going to go in. Torres is gonna park and meet us."

She nodded firmly, opening the door. Stepping out she closed her eyes, taking a deep breath, and for a split second hoped this was a dream, that she was going to wake up, but as she felt Loker grab her arm and gently guide her inside she knew it wasn't.

She wasn't going to wake up, and find him downstairs still working or slipping through the door because it was well into the early morning hours. No, none of that was going to happen. Maybe it never would again. As the thought crossed her mind, she gasped, not realizing she'd stopped breathing.

Loker watched with concerned eyes as they reached the doors. There wasn't anything they could do to help except be there.

The motorized doors started to pull back, allowing them in, and she bolted away from him heading for the lone nurse. He felt slightly bad for the unsuspecting woman, a concerned agitated Foster had the potential to scar one for life. It was a rare sight, and he was fascinated. He stood back as the nurse pointed out directions for her. A thought struck him as saw her start off down the hall, what would happen to the rest of them if the worst had happened? Did happen?

He didn't have much time to ponder the questions that were racing through his mind, Torres came out of nowhere, and started tugging him along. They caught up with her in the ICU, swearing she'd jogged part of the way there, where the nurses were just as impatient as rude.

"I'm looking for Cal Lightman," she rushed, her voice cracking as she uttered his name.

Lazily, the nurse looked up, her beady eyes inspecting Gillian. Clasping her tiny hands together, she leaned on the desk in front of her, scrutinizing the taller woman again before typing in the name. "Are you family?"

"Yeah – yes, I'm his wife." She didn't hesitate to answer that way, most already thought, or said if they were brave enough, they acted like a married couple. It didn't feel like a lie to her. In fact, it wasn't. She was merely waiting for him to ask for real. Right then, she hesitated, questioning whether she should have let the Christmas proposal stand.

The curly haired woman's head shot up, her eyes narrowing. Her tone condescending she announced, "I already let his wife and daughter in."

Everything stopped for a second in time. If she hadn't known it was impossible she would've sworn the world stopped for just that second before everything blasted forward. Her mind scattered to a thousand different places, and she found her mouth was too dry to speak. She couldn't even close it, just let it hang slack, too shocked by the sentence uttered to move. Her head snapped to the side when she felt herself being moved out of the way.

"Oh, you must mean his daughter and ex-wife," Torres stepped in.

Gillian could have slapped herself right there. How had that slipped her mind? Emily had been the one that called, and she had been with Zoe that week. If the girl was there so was her mother. She almost couldn't believe herself. But she was exceedingly thankful to Torres for taking over. Her head wasn't in it, and it was taking too long to get to him. She just wanted to see he was alright. Breathing. Alive. Still with her.

The nurse eyes them both suspiciously. "And who are you?"

Torres smiled brightly at the woman; it was fake, but the overly plump woman would never know. "A co-worker." Wearily, the short woman watched them, and Torres could see she wasn't buying a word of it. Even though it was the truth, she wasn't planning on letting them through. Rolling her eyes and letting out an exaggerated puff of air, she cleared her throat. "Fine, if you don't believe that, her name's Gillian Foster and she'll be his emergency contact."

The nurse stared at her, not blinking. Deciding she wasn't going to give in, Torres refused to look away. Finally giving in, the woman's eyes flicked back to the computer screen, and Ria's head gave an almost microscopic shake as she puffed out her chest. Letting her shoulders drop, she swayed back and forth on her feet. Looking at Gillian, Torres was shocked at how pale she'd gotten in the short amount of time.

"Down the hall, first door on the left."

Ria smiled again tapping on the counter. "That wasn't so hard, was it?" Grabbing Gillian's hand, she led her down the hall, Loker close behind. Stopping in front of the closed door, she softly patted Gillian's shoulder, letting her know they were there. "We'll be out here if you need us."

She didn't respond, captivated by the wooden door. Thus far she'd managed to keep her eyes dry, but standing in front of this door, his door, she almost couldn't stop the salty tears from rolling down her cheeks. Snuffling, she wiped away the lone escapee, angry that she hadn't been able to keep them at bay longer. _What is there to cry over_, she thought, _I don't even know what's wrong yet_.

For a second, Loker and Torres were temped to throw in their two cents, encouraging words maybe, but held back as she reached for the handle. They watched as she plastered on her brightest smile, and turned the knob.

The door swung open to reveal a plain white room with three occupants. She stepped through the doorway, quietly waiting for his attention, and for a few moments she watched him and his daughter. He held her hand, and smiled, his eyes slowly opening and closing.

She didn't notice his icy eyes on her until he spoke. "Hiya, love."


	3. Stay With Me Forever and Always: Part 3

_**Here's chapter three, and it's a four day weekend for me, so I'll try to get another one up. Don't quote me on that though because 1) I'm super slow, and 2) I suck.**  
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_**Enjoy**_

_Forever and Always: Part 3_

"_Then she gets an idea and calls in the nurses_

_Brings up the chaplain and he says a couple verses_

_She borrows some rings from the couple next door_

_Everybody's laughing as the tears fall on the floor_

_She looks into his eyes, and she says_

_I want you forever, forever and always_

_Through the good and the bad and the ugly_

_We'll grow old together, and always remember_

_Whether happy or sad or whatever_

_We'll still love each other, forever and always_

_Forever and always_

_Forever and always"_

With all eyes on her, she wanted to disappear or, at least, run away. No one would be able to really blame her for it. Fight or flight, and she wasn't ready to battle this yet. Turning around and leaving seemed like the smartest thing to do if she wanted to keep her sanity intact.

This wasn't supposed to happen. They had finally gotten on track, everything was working out, and she couldn't remember the last time life had felt so easy. She almost felt like she should have seen it coming. When everything was going right something was bound to go wrong, that was the saying. And everything had been going right for so long. Months had passed, and the world had kept spinning, and now it was coming to a shrieking halt.

She hadn't taken so much as a step toward him when she saw his lips moving again, and forced herself to pay attention. It took a great deal of concentration to focus on what he was saying.

"Oi, you two." She followed his line of sight to Loker and Torres. "Come in or get out, either way shut the bloody door." He wasn't loud and his voice was rough, but it was still commanding, and Gillian stepped to the side to let them shuffle sheepishly past.

Soon all eyes were on her again, waiting to see what she would do. There was no doubt that most of them had seen her indecision, and she hated that there had even been a choice to make. Slowly, and quite nervously, she approached his free side. Not sure of what to do, she stood there watching him with a death grip on her bag. Her knuckles white. Everyone watched them, and though they hadn't said outright, that they were together, they had never denied it either, opting to let people think what they wanted. They were going to do it anyway.

Standing there she could feel the fear induced adrenaline wearing off and the soft beeps of the machine aggravated her headache. Her head felt heavy, and full. She wanted to sit down, and let her head rest against the chair back, or the bed. But she was stuck, her feet glued in place. Her headache began to follow the machine's irritating pulse.

Thump, thump, thump, thump.

Knowing it was good that it was beeping didn't stop her from wanting to hit the button, and shut it off. Tubes and wires shot out from everywhere, and she wasn't sure she should touch him, or if she even could.

Seeing her dilemma, Emily squeezed Cal's hand, and shot him a look telling him to help her. Reaching out Cal took Gillian's hand into his, and pulled her closer toward the bed. With his pulse drumming under her fingertips, she could no longer feel the many sets of all-seeing eyes on her. She felt the urge to blurt out her secret, relieve the stress of carrying it alone. The words tried to claw their way up her throat, but she swallowed them down. She shook her head, there would another time that would be better suited for the conversation it would bring up.

Lightly, she touched the bruises covering the left side of his face, and he pulled away, wincing. "Sorry," she whispered. The watery fends returned, and she blinked several times to keep them back.

"Don't cry, love. I hate it when you cry."

Clenching his teeth, he scooted over leaving enough room for her to sit. After catching his breath, he patted the cleared space. The day finally catching up with her she did as requested, and plopped down suddenly feeling exhausted. Slumping forward, she rested her forehead against his chest, and felt him tense. Snapping up, she covered her mouth. "I'm sorry."

Rolling his eyes he pulled her back down, tucking her into his side. "Stop saying that." Nodding, she balled her hands up and tucked them under her chin, afraid to set her hands anywhere. Silence caved in on them before he spoke again. "How was your appointment, love?"

She did look at him, if she did he'd see her lie, and then he'd be on the hunt. "Fine, they said it was just the stress."

"Maybe you should get a less stressful job."

"Maybe you should stop making it stressful." She smiled at his chuckle, but it turned to a frown as he began to cough. Waiting until he was done, and had caught his breath, she asked, "How are you?"

He frowned, and she felt him shrug. "Nothing to bad. Don't worry about it, darlin'." She still didn't look at him, and she was pretty sure he wasn't looking at her or he would've made her look. Later she'd think that should have sent off warning bells, but in the moment it didn't.

Movement to Loker's left caught his eye, and subtly he allowed his eyes to follow it, anything to keep his mind off how awkward he felt standing there. Zoe looked down and away, she was no longer watching them either. Her brows bunched together and a frown found her face at Lightman's words. Confusion swept over him. Unless she actually wanted him dead, which Loker believed was unlikely, she should have been happy he was going to be fine. Right? He shook his head, and turned away; he could try and figure it out later.

"What happened?" Gillian fidgeted with the side of Cal's hospital gown instead of meeting his eyes. She didn't want to see the bruises or his eye almost swollen shut.

Cal visibly relaxed when he felt her sink into his side. "I don't know, love. Someone loon just found on the side of the road, I guess."

She shuttered, but forced herself to keep her hand where they were, to not grab onto him. It was bad enough he was hurt, though no one had yet to inform her about the extent of said injuries, she didn't plan on adding to them.

Running his fingers absentmindedly through Gillian's hair, he felt Emily pulling on the hand she possessed. Looking over, he watched as she picked through her many pockets. When she found the one she wanted, she gazed at him expectantly. He chuckled in his head, she was a sly, sly girl. He'd taught her well.

He gave her the slightest nod he could, not wanting to draw attention to himself, and watched as she covertly removed her hand from her coat pocket. Grabbing his hand with both of hers, she gave it a small squeeze and let go, sitting back in her chair. The item now trapped between his fingers and palm.

The nearly grown girl had all but raged at him when she found out about Christmas Day. Though she had quickly changed her tune when he showed her the simple ring, stating he was now just waiting for the right time. The brunette child had been in possession of it since, he figured she would be less likely to misplace it. He knew she carried it with her everywhere just in case he decided it was finally time.

_Now is as good as time as any_, he thought. There would never be a perfect time, and life was unpredictable even at the best of times, so why wait.

"Gillian, love?" He waited a second before he continued hearing her mumble something he couldn't quite understand. "I got a question." He closed his fist around the small ring, guarding it. His stomach flipped, twisting itself into little knots he was sure would never come undone. There was no reason for the nerves, he was positive of what she would say, but he couldn't stop them.

He had considered exchanging the one he had for something grander, but Emily had talked him out of it, saying anything too flashy didn't seem right; the one he had was simple and elegant, and perfect.

The whole room perked up at this, wayward heads snapping back to attention. Emily sat, a grin from ear-to-ear plastered on her face. Torres and Loker watched on curiously, and Zoe stood by the window, knowing what was about to happen, but not liking it. She knew what he was doing, it was clear as day, but couldn't understand why. If he'd planned on finally growing a pair he should have done it before. He was just going to make it harder on her.

Gillian sat up, her heart beginning to pound. Staring at him wide-eyed, she nodded, his words ringing in her ears.

Holding out the modest diamond, he took her hand and looked her straight in the eye. "Marry me?"


	4. Stay With Me Forever and Always: Part 4

_**I'm so sad it's been almost a year. This show needed to be picked up by another network or something. What a waste of brilliant tv. **  
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_Forever and Always: Part 4_

"_She finished the vows, but the beeps are getting too slow_

_His voice is almost too low_

_As he says_

_I love you forever, forever and always_

_Please just remember even if I'm not here_

_I'll always love you, forever and always"_

For a moment there was only him, and her, and his cheeky grin. Slowly, her eyes searched his face though she wasn't sure what she was looking for. There was nothing, but genuine curiosity for an answer. Her answer. Gradually a grin, she couldn't control, stretched across her face.

He smiled back at her. "Take that as a yes." He smirked his normal self-satisfied smirk. Looking at the rest of them, he chuckled. "Knew she was easy." Any other day that would have earned him an eye roll or a playful nudge to the arm, but at the moment he figured she was still too shocked to react. So, naturally, he flinched when he caught her move out of the corner of his eye.

Ignoring his inappropriate comment, she practically tackled him causing a groan to escape his lips. Horrified that she'd hurt him again, she nearly flew off the bed before he could stop her. "I'm so sorry."

Grabbing her arm, he pulled her back to him, holding her as tight was he could. "Answer Me."

Her distress was slowly replaced as a smiled made its way back to her face. Nodding, she swallowed hard, and choked out, "Yes." He closed the remaining space between them, and softly placed kiss on her lips.

Applause erupted around them along with a wolf whistle. Cal glared at Loker, and held it long enough to make him cringe. He was too damn happy to be irritated by the younger man's antics at the moment.

Emily stood up, linked arms with Torres, and led her to the door. "Let's go for a walk." Having no choice in the matter she followed the girl out of the room.

The room grew quiet. Loker shoved his fists deep into his pockets. Rocking on the balls of his feet, he began whistling, and wished that Emily had taken him with her too.

He watched them. Zoe leaned against the wall a few feet away, staring at nothing in particular, a look of sadness on her face. He could understand where it was coming from, she was no longer the go-to girl, not that Loker was positive she ever really was. But what caught him off guard was the same look sitting on Lightman's face, and the older man's drooping eyes seemed to intensify the sadness. He didn't have long to think over the expression, a knock sounded, and an older man, in his mid to late sixties, came in followed by a smirking Emily and a nervous Torres.

Loker almost laughed at the look on Torres' face. It was somewhere between shock and disbelief, like she could actually believe what Emily had dragged her into.

"I assume this is the happy couple," the graying man asked, glancing at Emily. She nodded vigorously, and he chuckled lightly at her enthusiasm.

Through his blurred sight, Cal eyed the man taking in his balding head and kind eyes, he found nothing suspicious. "What's it to you?"

The man looked bewildered at Cal's gruffness, but pushed it aside. "This young lady thought you might be in want of my services." He walked over to them, and held out his hand. "I'm the hospital Chaplain. Please, just call me Henry."

Cal eyed the man a minute longer before turning his gaze on Emily, who merely shrugged at him, an innocent gleam in her eyes.

Reaching out, he shook Henry's hand. "Don't think we'll be needin' you."

Zoe shook her head, she didn't know what he was playing at. Maybe he didn't want to seem too eager or act too out of character because then they might have known something was off, but she didn't think it was fair. She may not have liked Gillian, but what he was doing seemed cruel.

Henry nodded once, and took a step back. "Wait a second." The gray haired man paused in his retreat, and watched as Emily pulled away from her mother. "Come on, dad. Why not? Anyone you'd invite is already here, and – and…"

She hesitated, that had been the only real point she'd had beside she'd been waiting forever for it to happen. Figuring she need something better than that she quickly came up with another reason. "It's cheaper than a real wedding." She smiled brightly, bouncing on the balls of her feet.

He'd laughed at that, but still didn't look convinced. Becoming serious again, she placed her hand on his shoulder and looked at him with wide eyes. "Haven't you waited long enough?" Knowing that would be all the convincing he'd need, Emily walked back to her spot, her good deed for the day done.

Without waiting, the Chaplain moved to the head of the bed, and started speaking, taking his lead from the girl. Though they weren't paying much attention. Cal took Gillian's hand, and her smile grew wider, and a small laugh escaped. There was no need for words, they were pointless when you could see what the other was feeling.

Her nerves got the better of her while watching him, and a knot grew in her stomach. The un-bruised side of his face grew pale, his eyes unfocused. She couldn't tell if her exhausted mind was playing tricks on her or not, but she could've sworn it was taking longer for the heart monitor to beep.

Sensing her worry, he squeezed her hand, and gave her his famous crooked grin. He watched as panic slowly took over her face, but didn't know why. He wanted to say something, but his tongue felt like lead and his eyelids refused to stay up.

"Cal!" His grip loosened, and his head lolled to the side. Gillian was on her feet in a second, cupping his face, she gave his cheek a soft pat. "Cal, open your eyes. Come on."

It happened then. The long ominous sound everyone who'd ever had a loved one in the hospital dreaded. The one that singled they weren't leaving together.

There wasn't a heartbeat. Her eyes were wide, terrified. And the others mirrored her expression. Zoe pulled Emily to her, and turned her away from the scene. Holding her arms firmly around Emily, Zoe made sure she couldn't see a thing. She would have left the room, if she could've wrapped her head around it. He was dead or dying. There was still a chance they could save him, doctors weren't always right, were they?

"You can't do this now. Come on, open your eyes," her words weren't more than a breathy whisper, but it could've been a yell in the silent room. _What am I going to do,_ she thought. She couldn't breathe like a clamp was compressing her chest.

A nurse roughly gave her a shove out of the way while another ushered them out the door. "He's going to be alright, right?" Emily asked, voicing the unasked question.

Holding her tighter, Zoe kissed the top of her head, and lead her to the waiting area. "I don't know, baby."

The rest of the group began to follow, except Gillian. She leaned against the wall, a few feet from the door, her elbows on her knees still fighting to catch her breath. She was shaking , and Loker got the sense if she didn't sit down, she'd fall down.

Crouching, he spoke in a soft, even tone. "You've got to breathe, Foster. They're doing everything they can for him. How would it look if he woke up, and you'd passed out?" He let a small smile grace his features as he heard a strangled chuckle leave her. At least it was something.

She resisted as he tried to lead her away, but quickly gave in to his request. There wasn't enough energy in the world to fight him on it. She'd either hate him or thank him for it later. She didn't know which she preferred.

She stumbled to the group, and dropped down next to Henry. He was talking, but the words didn't reach her ears, she was too focused on the hall they'd emerged from. Her head was buzzing, every sense in overdrive. Everything was too much: the smell, the lights, she felt like she could even hear the IV drips.

Every footstep caught her ear, jerking her head in the direction it came from. Every disappointment found her head hanging, her hair hiding her face. She swallowed hard, trying to keep down her lunch. The smell was nauseating, too clean, somehow, something she never thought she'd think.

She would have sworn they'd been sitting there for hours when someone finally appeared. She stood, unsteady on her feet as she waited for the rest of them to stand. When they realized the doctor was there for them they quickly followed suit, each hoping the news was good.

The man in blue scrubs slowly made his way to them. You didn't need to be able to read face to tell he news wasn't good, but hope is a powerful thing. Standing in front of so many hopeful faces, the doctor suddenly felt burdened by his task. Opening his mouth to speak, he quickly shut it. Looking away, he shook his head. Placing his hand together, he take a turn meeting everyone's eyes. "There was nothing we could do."


	5. It's 11:59

_11:59_

"_Once upon a time, 11:59_

_In a car on a street, in a town_

_Solitary eyes were staring back at mine_

_We couldn't seem to make a sound_

_Please don't leave_

_This could be the best time of our lives tonight_

_You and me, don't let the moment pass by_

_Put the windows down and drive away"_

"Oi, Foster! Wakey, wakey."

She started, bolting up on the couch. Eyes flying open, she scanned the room, disorientated. She had no idea where she was for a moment then like being struck by lighting she knew. It was Cal's office, but she was unsure of how she had gotten there. The last thing she remembered was being at the hospital. A doctor walked out looking forlorn. She remembered feeling her heart flutter in hope, and pretending she hadn't seen what she saw. A bomb dropped, exploding as the doctor's words hit the floor. The fiery inferno devoured the air around it, and each breath was harder to catch. There was a struggle, and a crushing tightness in her chest, a pair of arms encircling her then nothing.

Groaning, she let her head fall into her hands, her thumbs rubbing small circles on her temples. She didn't know who had brought her here or whose idea it was to put her in his office on his couch, but when she found whoever it was would be lucky if they had a job the next day. Cruel was the only word she could think of that accurately described what had been done. Tears stung at her eyes, and she allowed her eyelids to fall, wanting to hold back the water as long as she could.

Footsteps entered the room, and spoke. "Back in the land of the living, I see."

Her eyes shot open, head whipping about. The room spun from her movement. There he was in the doorway smirking at her, hands deep in his pockets, bouncing on his feet just like it was any other day. Like she hadn't just watched him die in a hospital the day before.

What the hell was going on? She tried to remember if she'd hit her head on anything recently, but noting came to her. At the loss for words, she stared at him.

"Really, I know I'm fantastic to look at, but if you stare much longer I may blush."

She shut her mouth, her teeth clicking together, and swallowed hard. She couldn't wrap her mind around it; he was standing there in front of her, alive, breathing, and even grinning. She could hardly breathe. Blinking rapidly, she watched him wondering if he'd disappear.

He moved closer to her, his hands still in his pockets. "And as much as I like you lounging about my office," he said, wiggling his eyebrows. "Someone has to work around here, and it's better you than me. So, uh, hop to it, yeah?""

She shook her head, rubbing her temples. There was no need to inform him of what she had or had not dreamt. It'd only worry him. She didn't even know which was real. Mustering up the best smile she could, she stood, and smoothed out her dress. "What happened last night?"

He wrapped his arm around her waist, and led her from the room. "Well, you came in, had a drink, and started chattering on about something." She grinned and smacked his chest. "Oi, you asked, anyway I had a call, left, and when I came back not ten minutes later, you were dead to the world."

She didn't like that he kept saying things like that, but nodded anyway. Passing by a large window, she saw the sun was high. Frowning, she looked to him. "What time is it?"

He looked confused for a minute then checked his nonexistent watch. She wasn't going to like the answer. "Almost noon, I think."

Tapping him again, she rolled her eyes. "You couldn't have gotten me up any sooner?"

Smiling, he took her out the front doors. "Well, no, 'cause you just looked so peaceful."

"Uh-huh." They stopped moving, and she finally looked around. They were at his car, and he was holding the door open. Putting her hand on the door, she slid in. "Care to tell me where we're going?"

Shutting the door, he walked around and got in. Glancing at her, he spoke as if is was the most obvious thing in the world. "Lunch."

She didn't know if this was the dream or not, but it seemed better than the alternative. They both seemed real to her, and she wished she knew which was which because the thought of having to wake up to place where he was cold in the ground made her want to throw up. As long as he was there, there was order in the world, and she felt like she could finally breathe. The weight in her chest was gone, and she could think clearly again. Jerking forward with the force of his stop, she cleared the hair from her face, and sent him a glare.

"Not my fault."

Hands on the dash, she took in what was happening outside her window. Cars were crunched, and people were either dashing madly about or stumbling around dazed. "What happen?"

"Accident." She gave him a 'no-really' look. "Looks pretty nasty, be back in a minute." He licked his lips, and was gone before she could protest.

Getting out of the car, Gillian leaned against her door, and watched. There was a smell on the air, slight and subtle, but as the minutes ticked past she soon recognized it. Gas. The growing smell, and dark smoke rising in the air, worried her. There was no doubt that anyone of the multiple cars might ignite.

"Cal," she called out for him, he'd been out of her sight for too long. Her frayed nerves itching for her to find him. Pushing off the car, she followed the path he took, and briefly wandered why she hadn't heard any sirens yet. She yelled for him again, and still he didn't answer. No one answered, no one was around. She would have sworn there had been tons of people running around just minutes ago. Catching a glimpse of him sauntering passed a car, she headed after him. Her pursuit was cut short as she was thrown back, a blast of heat running over her.

Sitting up dazed, she watched the car in front of her burn. The blaze was mesmerizing, she could feel the heat brush her face. A muffle sounded in her ear. Following the noise, it wasn't who she wanted to see. A young man kneeled beside her, and without her consent wrapped his arms around her and hauled her up. Managing to break free, she headed toward the fire. Shaking off his attempts to pull her away, she stopped, a body in her path.

She couldn't see the face but tears filled her eyes anyway, and she fell to her knees beside it. She ignored the glass shards and small rocks that bit at her skin as her shaking hands hovered over the body. There was no need to turn it over, she could tell. The height, the build, the hair, all of it she'd memorized years ago.

Pure and utter disbelief. She couldn't believe that in less than a day she'd lost him twice. If it was a dream she wanted to wake up, but the alternative wasn't any better. She wondered if she'd finely had a nervous breakdown, and both scenarios were all in her head. The thought wasn't comforting, but at least he'd still be alive.

Her vision blurred, and the weight that had been lifted from seeing him that morning crushed down on her once again. She leaned over the body letting her heavy head rest against her arm. Tears had flooded her eyes, but they refused to fall.

Again, she felt arms closing around her waist trying to pull her away. She struggled hard against them.


	6. I'm Haunted

_**I still don't own anything. I think it's mostly because I don't have enough awesome points yet, so that sucks. Anyway, any mistakes are my own like always.**  
_

_Haunted_

"_You and I walk a fragile line_

_I have known it all this time_

_But I never thought I'd live to see it break_

_It's getting dark, and it's all to quiet_

_And I can't trust anything now_

_And it's coming over you like it's all a big mistake_

_Oh, holding my breath_

_Won't lose you again_

_Something's made your eyes go cold_

_Come on, come on, don't leave me like this_

_I thought I had you figured out_

_You're all I wanted_

_Come on, come on, don't leave me like this_

_I thought I had you figured out_

_Can't breathe whenever you're gone_

_Can't turn back now, I'm haunted"_

"Gillian, wake up!"

She felt someone shaking her, and bolted up into Emily's arms. She clung to the girl tightly, and tried unsuccessfully to ease her sobs.

Emily held her, holding back her own tears. She didn't know how the help her, she didn't even know how to help herself. He had meant so much to both of them, how could you fix what was so thoroughly shattered beyond repair? Emily did what she could, determined to either hold her until she was done or had worn herself out.

It took a few minutes before Gillian could breathe again. Pushing away from Emily, she wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand, and sniffled. Backing up to the headboard, she pulled her knees to her chest, wrapped her arms around them, and laid her head down. "What are you doing here, Em?"

She was surprised to see her, she hadn't expected someone to be there when she woke up screaming. She'd been alone the past several days, and each time she was alone when the nightmares came. She didn't know why each time she couldn't decide which reality was real, the one she belonged to. Each time she closed her eyes she lost him, and when she opened them he was still gone. It cut at her heart. So much so, she'd been refusing to sleep until her body out from exhaustion.

Not moving from her spot, Emily crossed her arms, the concern wiped from her face. "It's my house too, Gillian." Her voice was sharp, an edge she hadn't intended to be there.

Briefly closing her eyes, Gillian shook her head. "That wasn't… I didn't mean – I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that." She sighed heavily, rubbing her brow. In reality she hadn't meant to say it like that or even say it at all, but it had been the first thing to pop into her mind when she could finally see through the haze of her tears. Hugging her knees tighter, she shivered despite the warmth of the room.

Uncrossing her arms, Emily scooted closer to the woman she considered a second mother letting the concern creep back onto her face. She looked terrible, not that Emily would ever say that to her. There were deep bags under her eyes that clashed with her pale skin, her hair was a mess, and her clothes were wrinkled. It was hard to see her go from picture perfect everyday to barely able to hold herself together. Emily turned her eyes downward for a moment suddenly upset with the tone she'd used.

"No one's seen you in days. You won't answer calls, and you won't let anybody in when they come by, we were worried." Emily shrugged, picking at the twisted blanket.

Not lifting her head, Gillian nodded blinking slowly. Emily pulled at her arm until she managed to get her standing. "Where are we going?"

Dragging her along the hall, Emily looked back. "To get you some lunch," she said as if it were obvious.

Gillian was struck by similar this conversation was to the one in her dream. She couldn't stop her mind from flashing back to the inferno that had surround her or the half charred body that had broken her again. She shook herself out of it, clearing the images away. Realizing Emily was still speaking, she forced her ears to listen.

"The rest of the house doesn't look lived in…" She paused at her words, a look of sadness passing over her face. Quickly though, she replaced the frown with a half-hearted smile, "So, I assume you haven't been down in a while."

As they reached the bottom of the stairs, Emily ran outside stating she'd left her stuff in the car unsure if she'd been staying earlier. Shuffling toward the kitchen, Gillian ignored everything around preferring instead to look at the floor. For a moment she considered how well Emily seemed to be taking it, and wondered if she had been speaking to anyone. _She seemed to be doing better than me at the moment_, Gillian thought. Cut from her ponderings by a noise, she looked up to see Zoe sitting at the island bar.

She rolled her eyes before continuing in. It was childish she knew, but for the moment she didn't care. There was no love lost between the two. In the beginning, Zoe had made it nearly impossible for Gillian to work with Cal. They had almost dissolved the business because she couldn't seem to understand they were just partners. She had always insisted there was something more even if they weren't sleeping together. And now Gillian guessed she was right.

"What are you doing here, Zoe?" Same question, same harsh tone, but this time Gillian felt it was more deserved.

Zoe swiveled around to face Gillian, her face neutral. "I was bringing Emily over, and I thought I'd see how you were."

Gillian scoffed at that, a bitter laugh leaving her throat. She leaned against the counter, shaking her head. Why Zoe thought she'd believe that was beyond her. They didn't even like each other, much less care if the other was hurt.

Standing up, Zoe straightened out her shirt, and tucked her bag under her arm. "You know, you're not the only one who lost him." Hurt flashed across her face.

Watching as the other woman headed for the door, Gillian suddenly wanted her to stay. She didn't want to be alone in the house again. It seemed too cold. It was too cold, she had the heat up to eighty, and still she was freezing. She had been relieved when Emily had been there as she woke up; she was the next best thing to him, and it was better than the ghosts that had been keeping her company.

She didn't even know what was wrong with her, snapping at and ignoring people. She should have been helping them, and making sure they got through this loss, their loss, together and intact, but instead she had walked into their house and locked the door, hardly even able to help herself. She could use any help that was offered, even if it was from Zoe.

She shook her head again, and cleared her throat, catching Zoe's attention. "Sorry," it was soft, and barely audible, but Zoe stopped and turned around, and Gillian figured she'd heard it.

They stared awkwardly at each other until the front door slamming shut broke their trance. Zoe moved closer not wanted to speak very loud, she had no intention of letting Emily hear what she was about to say. "I told him not to do that to you."

It took a second for the words to be processed through her muddled mind, but as she realized what they meant Gillian's head snapped up, her eyes merely slits. "You knew?" Her eyes wandered wildly through the room before landing back on their target. "Did he?" Gillian watched as Zoe's head slipped up and down. She was trying hard to be angry, but her head was spinning, both from the new information and the lack of food. "Both of you knew, and no one thought they should inform me?"

Zoe threw up her hand, on the defensive. "No one told him, Gillian, he couldn't stop reading everyone even on his deathbed. That's how he found out." Gillian swayed, clutching to the counter top to stay upright. "He started talking about marrying you, and I told him not to, that it wasn't fair to you or him, but he would listen to me." The lack of color in Gillian's cheeks was making Zoe nervous. Taking her arm, Zoe guided her to the dinning room, and watched as she fell gracelessly onto a chair. Sitting down beside her, Zoe took a deep breath preparing to finish. "I told him not to, but he said if that was the last thing he did, he'd died happy."

Gillian's mouth hung open, too shocked by the story to stay closed. She opened and closed it a few time as if going to speak, but nothing came out. A lone tear broke free cutting a wet path down her translucent cheek.

Zoe heard Emily coming down the stairs, and heading into the kitchen calling for them.

"In here," she replied, her eyes never leaving the woman she had, at one point, considered her rival.

The girl stopped dead in her tracks upon entering the room. She quickly took in the scene. Her mother sat beside a visibly trembling Gillian, a slight look of distress to her face. "What happened?"

Zoe stood up, pushing off the table, and headed for Emily. Wrapping her arm around her, Zoe turned them around. Ignoring the question, and changing the topic she asked, "How about we start on lunch now?"

**_I assume you're all smart cookies, and got that last chapter was a dream. Thanks for reading._**


	7. Having Little Talks

_**This is short, and I don't particularly like it, but it just doesn't really end up like is was in my head, so oh well.**  
_

_Little Talk_

"_Hey! Hey! Hey!_

_I don't like walking around this old and empty house_

_So hold my hand; I'll walk with you, my dear_

_The stairs creak as I sleep; it's keeping me awake_

_It's the house telling you to close your eyes_

_Some days I can't even dress myself_

_It's killing me to see you this way_

'_Cause though the truth may vary, this ship will carry_

_Our bodies safe to shore"_

It had been hours since Zoe had dropped her bombshell. He'd known, and thinking back she could see where she'd ignored the signs, and instead believed his words. Who honestly wanted to be told or believe that their loved one was dying? She hadn't, so she'd unknowingly let him lie.

Lunch had been a quiet affair, strained and tense. Gillian had only managed a bite or two, but she had sat and waited quietly for Zoe and Emily to finish before retreating upstairs. The front door had shut a while later, and briefly she wondered if Emily had stayed, but she hadn't had the heart to check.

So, here she was hours later pacing the upstairs hall. It had started out the first night, her brain had not quite gripped onto reality, and she had hoped the pacing would wear her out, and it had for a short time until she woke up screaming. In the hours she spent pacing she had counted out a dozen times how far it was from the far end of the hallway to the top of the stairs. She could easily retrace her steps in the dark. And she did, nightly.

She could hardly keep her eyelids up, but her mind refused to shut down. A noise from downstairs caught her by surprise. Leaving the lights off, she descended the stairs, one hand on the rail, the other on the wall. Making it to the bottom, her attention was drawn toward the glow of the kitchen light.

Entering the room, she found it was empty. The light hadn't been on when she had gone up earlier, and she was sure if Emily had stayed she would have shut it off before going to bed. At the prospect of accidently walking into a burglary she hardly felt a thing. No fear at what could happen, or disgust at the people doing it; she was surprised at the flicker of anger she felt before it too died away.

Every thing she'd ever loved left her or had been taken away. Sophie, Alec, her cat from second grade. And, now she didn't even care that someone might be breaking in and taking the last things she had of his. It frightened her that she didn't care, she'd never not cared about anything.

"Gill?"

She forced her eyes away from the door realizing she'd zoned out. Shaking her head, she gathered her thoughts. "I thought you left."

Emily bounced on her feet, and gave her a half grin. "Nope." She soon stopped bouncing, her smile slipping away. Fiddling with the plate in her hands, she shrugged. "I dropped this. Sorry, if I woke you."

Gillian shook her head waving it off the apology. "I was already up." She sat at the counter, her tired eyes slipping closed once more. Her eyes snapped open a minute later, wondering at the time. 3 am. Tilting her head to the side she narrowed her eyes. "Shouldn't you be in bed?"

"Shouldn't you?" Emily bit back. Putting the plate in the sink, she moved over so she was across from Gillian. "Sorry." She looked down, examining her hands for a second. "I couldn't sleep. It's just… weird, I guess, being here without him." She watched Gillian nod at her, the woman's bloodshot eyes unfocused.

She didn't say anything after that. What was there to say? _I'm sorry for your loss, but time will help._ That was out of the question, she was sure the only thing time would help was talking about it, maybe. It wouldn't help the pain that would come when he was brought up in a conversation or the pangs of regret when they remembered something they had meant to tell him. Time, the only thing they wanted, but couldn't have.

Clearing her throat, Gillian sat up straighter. "I assume you and your mom… uh, made arrangements." She wasn't going to cry, she knew, she was out of tears for the day. She watched an odd expression pass over Emily's face.

"I thought you knew. I thought that's what she told you earlier."

Her heart clenched, pain spread through her chest. "What happened?" Briefly, she flashed back to standing in his office, phone in hand, a knot eating her stomach.

Emily shook her head, not waiting to divulge her secret. "Maybe… maybe someone else should tell you." She fiddled with her fingers.

Taking a deep breath, Gillian shakily let it out. Her eyes were wide and pleading. "Please, just tell me."

The girl sighed and shifted on her feet. There wasn't a way to sugar coat it, so she would just have to spit it out and hope for the best "There aren't really any arrangements." Gillian grabbed for her hand and squeezed it softly. Her eyes switched between wanting to know and hoping she refuse to tell her. Emily blinked hard. Rolling her neck, she finally looked at Gillian. "The hospital called the other day, and, and…" She sighed again. "And there was a mix-up."

Gillian tightened her hold, her knuckles turning white around Emily's hand, but she didn't pull away. "What are you talking about?"

Unknowingly, Emily began running her thumb over Gillian's knuckles. "There was a mix up at the hospital. Papers were misplaced or something, and by the time they figured it out he'd… he'd – he'd been cremated. Infectious tissue."

"Oh."


	8. I'm Haunted: Part 2

_**To anyone still reading: sorry this took so long, I just couldn't get it to come out the way I wanted. But it's finally here.**  
_

_**I went back and revised any and all past chapters. Added some stuff, took some stuff away, I still think it's terrible, but I want it to stop floating around my head. Granted, just cause I think it's bad, doesn't mean I don't like it. Cause I love cheesy things.**_

_**Just because it says part two or three or whatever doesn't mean it has anything to do with the afore mentioned chapter.**_

_Haunted: Part 2_

"_Stood there and watched you walk away_

_From everything we had_

_But I still mean every word I said to you_

_He would try to take away my pain_

_And he just might make me smile_

_But the whole time I'm wishing he was you instead_

_Oh, holding my breath_

_Won't see you again_

_Something's keeps me holding on to nothing_

_Come on, come on, don't leave me like this_

_I thought I had you figured out_

_Something's gone terribly wrong_

_You're all I wanted_

_Come on, come on, don't leave me like this_

_I thought I had you figured out_

_Can't breathe whenever you're gone_

_Can't turn back now, I'm haunted"_

A few more weeks passed before Emily decided it was an alright time to have an honorary dinner for her father. His name could finally be brought up in a conversation without Gillian excusing herself. Granted, she still had a defeated look in her eyes and a sag to her shoulders whenever he was mentioned, but she had began to grin and bear it.

Emily assumed it had taken those many weeks for her to reign in her emotions, and put her mask, mostly, into place. The hurt still ran deep and raw, and she was in just as much in turmoil as the day he died, if the other day had been any indication to the young woman.

She had refused to let Emily in with the urn. The girl had tried to convince her that it was alright for it to be in the house, but she held fast. It was like she had accepted his death, but not that he'd been burned down to fit into the sealed vase. She steadfastly rejected the idea that he was in there. Emily realized she could have easily unlocked the door that day and walked in, but wouldn't have helped anything. So, she had left the shiny jar outside on the porch, and had taken it to Zoe's with her the next day.

Emily had given the bag of personal affects to Gillian. It was light, and only held his wallet. Both wondered where his cell was for a moment before Emily pulled out her phone and dialed his number. When it began to ring she put it on speaker, and set the cell between them. They waited ring after ring for someone to pick up or something… anything to happen. Soon his voice came on the line telling them to leave their name and number, and that he's get back to them. Gillian had excused herself like so many times before, and Emily hadn't heard from her the rest of the night.

Conveniently, the girl had forgotten to mention to Gillian it would be at their house. There wouldn't be many people just his lackeys, his FBI hound, them, and Zoe.

Emily would be forever thankful to her mother, the effort she'd put forward was astounding. Sensing that losing them both could be hazardous to Gillian's health, Zoe hadn't fought Emily's request to keep her schedule. One week on, one week off. Even on the weeks when she was with her mother, Emily still found her way over at least once a day. The girl had forced them together, and their common loss had given them a bond. They still didn't like each other, per se, but the fake smiles and cold words had changed. They could stay in each other presence for more than five minutes. Everything was neutral.

Understandably, Gillian was upset when she found out. A call from, what Emily guessed was Loker, tipped her off. Granted, Emily hadn't actually told them not to say anything, but hoped it had been assumed. Apparently, her father's employees weren't as smart as they looked.

"Why would you do this?" Gillian demanded, forcefully put the phone in its candle. "We could have done this at – at a restaurant or at the – the office. Anywhere, this could have been done anywhere. Why here?" She'd been very touchy about letting in lately. Meeting people at the door, and not once letting them through.

Emily had just made it through the door, and it took a second for her brain to process what was going on. Taking her shoes off, she walked toward Gillian, and set her bag on the table. "We couldn't have done it at the office, you haven't taken a step in there since everything happened." Emily cringed as hurt registered on Gillian's face. Her tone sounded harsh to her own ears, and she hadn't meant to say it like that. "Look, I wasn't purposely trying to keep you out of the loop, I just didn't want to fight you about it being here." Emily knew she wouldn't catch the small fib, she'd been missing a few things lately.

Gillian dropped her head, just letting it hang. It seemed like the pain never ended these days, it was always there pounding away. Not even a constant stream of aspirin appeared to help. She gave the back of her neck a squeeze wanting to ease some of the tension before looking back at the girl. "Sorry. You can do whatever you want, it's your house."

"It's not my house, and you know it." Emily shook her head crossing her arms, but her tone was soft. "Dad left everything to you, even my half, until I'm his version of "old enough"." She smiled, hoping she could coax one out of her substitute parent.

A look passed over Gillian like she'd forgotten. It confused Emily, who knew for a fact that had been at least the third time she'd bee told about the Will yet, every time that look passed over her face. Something strange was going on.

Emily uncrossed her arms, her hands hitting her legs. "I was just doing it for you. I figured if we were here then if you were having a hard time you could, I don't know, disappear until you were ready to come back. That way no one would go looking for you until you were ready."

Slowly, Gillian had been moving closer as Emily spoke, and she pulled her into a tight hug when she finished. It was hard to forget how thoughtful the girl was, but sometimes Emily still managed to surprise her.

Holding on just as tightly, Emily buried her face in Gillian's shoulder. "I just want everything to be alright again."

Pulling back, Gillian began smoothing out Emily's hair. Holding eye contact for a quick second, Gillian pecked Emily's forehead, and reengaged their hug. "We'll get there, honey, it's just going to take some time."

Dinner had gone awkwardly well. Little time was spent on their missing leader, and Gillian couldn't have been more pleased about that fact.

By the time they finished their dispute, there wasn't enough to make dinner for everyone. Pulling out her phone, Emily had called their normal Chinese place, and ordered a little of everything. Their impending guests made it around the same time the food did, and no time was wasted before digging in.

It was unnervingly quiet for the first few minutes. Chopsticks tapped against plates, and, for those uncoordinated folks, forks scraped on porcelain; the sound scratching at ears. It took a moment eyeing each other up to decide who was going to speak first.

Emily cleared her throat, grabbing at her noodles. "So, uh, how's working been going?"

Loker and Torres sat across the table having a battle of the eyes over who was going to answer. Reynolds swallowed his mouthful, rolling his eyes at the overgrown children beside him. "Oddly quiet. No one's been shot at, blown up, or threaten lately." Ben nearly slapped his forehead when he heard Gillian choke on her water.

Emily patted her back, and threw him an "I'm sorry" look for asking. He nodded, and sent one back her way. He hadn't even thought about what was worming its way out his mouth, and he half wished he could reel it back in. The other half figured she was going to have to get use to comments like that at some point, she couldn't lock herself away forever.

Stealing a box of the middle of the table, Loker refilled his plate. Looking to a still coughing Gillian, he spoke, a forkful of food in his mouth. "When are you coming back?"

She gave one last cough, and cleared her throat, "Monday, I think." She shuffled the food on the plate around, only taking a small bite here and there.

Loker and Torres quickly started in on a case they had worked the previous week, and Emily sat listening intently to them. A small ting to her left pulled her attention for a moment. Gillian fork sat loosely in her fingers, her eyes unfocused. Emily wanted to say something, ask if she was alright, but knew she wouldn't like the attention focused on her. She sent a quick worried glance to Zoe before turning back to the story being told, every few minutes letting her eyes wander back to her second mother.

Emily watched as she popped back in minutes later, and brought the half empty fork to her lips. Luckily, she knew she wouldn't have to wait long to ask her about it. It was late, and their visitors would be leaving soon.

As the thought crossed her mind, she watched the three Lightman employees stand up one right after the other and announce they needed to head out. Everyone followed them to the door, and the group said their goodbyes. Emily walked her mother out, and when she made it back in, the table had been cleared off, the dishes cleaned, and the food cartons packed away.

Gillian was heading out of the kitchen, shutting off the light, her eyes still distant. Emily waited by the stairs for her, contemplating how to wiggle the answers she wanted out of her house mate. Figuring it was too late for mind games, she just went for it. "Where did you go during dinner?"

"What are you talking about?" She pulled the chain on a lump, and sent then into darkness.

Emily flipped on the stair lights, and waited for the older woman to get to her side. "During dinner after you said you were going back on Monday, you just completely checked out."

Her brow furled in confusion, slowly taking the stairs up. "Did I?"

Emily firmly nodded her head. "Yeah, you were gone for a while."

Reaching the top, Gillian shrugged. "I must be more tired than I thought."

Stopping her from entering her room, Emily refused to release her hand. "Are you sure nothing is going on?"

Gillian smiled reassuringly at her. "Of course, I would tell you if there was." Freeing her hand, Gillian hugged the girl goodnight, and shut her bedroom door.


	9. Having Little Talks: Part 2

_**To all readers: here's a small, little chapter. Have fun.**  
_

_Little Talks: Part 2_

"_Hey! Hey! Hey!_

_There's an old voice in my head that's holding me back_

_Well tell her I miss our little talks_

_Soon it will be over and buried with our past_

_We used to play outside when we were young, and full of life and full of love_

_Some days, I don't know if I'm alright_

_Your mind is playing tricks on you, dear_

'_Cause though the truth may vary, this ship will carry_

_Our bodies safe to shore_

_Hey!_

_Don't listen to a word I say_

_Hey!_

_The screams all sound the same_

_Hey!"_

"Leave me alone."

"No."

"Please?"

"Can't do it. You won't let me, love."

Frustrated, she threw the shirt she'd been folding on the bed. He'd been haunting her for days. At first it was just a glance, a blur in her peripheral vision. It had been better like that, she could convince herself that it had been someone else, that her mind had placed his face on a random stranger. It had been easier that way.

Each passing day he'd grown closer, more clear. Now he spoke, and interacted with her. And he was pissing her off, just like old times. She hardly got a moments peace with him trailing after her.

Sighing, she picked up a new shirt, and started folding it. "Then could you at least stop talking?"

"Nope," he answered, a cocky grin plastered on his face.

She rolled her eyes, and chuckled. She knew she should've been concerned, hallucinating was generally not considered a good sign, but she couldn't help feel somewhat comforted with its presence.

A knock at her bedroom door scared the smile from her face. It had to be the forth or fifth time she'd almost or had been caught have a conversation with "herself". She was sure they were going to have to institutionalized if it keep up or if they found out who she was really talking to.

"Gill? Are you alright?"

"Yeah, fine. Why?" She slapped her forehead, those had slipped out far too quickly.

"Is someone in there with you?"

"No, why do you ask?" She tried to keep her tone calm and light, and not answer too fast though she didn't know why. Emily wasn't the voice expert between the two of them, and just because she noticed would mean Emily would.

"I thought I heard you talking."

She sounded genuinely curious, and Gillian heard the door knob rattle. She let out a sigh of relief, finally thankful for her unconscious need to lock the door when she entered a room. Quickly, she thought up a seemingly plausible explanation. "I was. I was making sure I had everything ready for Monday." It sounded like a lie to her own ears, and she was glad Emily was, for the most part, to polite to point it out.

"Uh huh." Emily sounded unconvinced, but there was little Gillian could do about it. She couldn't make Emily believe her. "If you're sure."

"I am," she stated firmly.

She heard Emily release the door knob. "Alright, well, I was just coming to tell you I ordered dinner."

"Okay, I be down in a minute."

"Well, that was close."

"Shut up, Cal," she replied, sloppily folding a pair of pants, a smile stuck on her face.

"What's for dinner then? Beans on toast?"

Gillian's nose wrinkled as she shook her head. They ready had their honorary beans on toast dinner for the month, and she wasn't looking forward to the next one.

Tried of folding the seemingly never ending basket, she dropped what she'd already done back in, and placed the basket on the floor. "Is there a reason I keep you around?"

"Course there is. You can't get rid of me."

She crossed her arms definitely, hip jetted out to the side. "Why is that?"

"Cause you love me so damned much."

She laughed shaking her head. There was no arguing about his logic there.

**_Anyone else surprised? I was. This story just gets more interesting as it goes along in my head. Granted that probably doesn't translate well, from my head to your computer screen._**


	10. I'm Haunted: Part 3

_**Read, relax, and enjoy, if you feel like it. Thank you to anybody that reviewed, those are always fun to read. I'm hoping things will pick up in the next chapter or so.**  
_

_Haunted: Part 3_

"_I know, I know_

_I just know_

_You're not gone_

_You can't be gone, no_

_Come on, come on, don't leave me like this_

_I thought I had you figured out_

_Something's gone terribly wrong_

_Won't finish what you started_

_Come on, come on, don't leave me like this_

_I thought I had you figured out_

_Can't breathe when ever you're gone_

_Can't go back, I'm haunted_

_You and I walk a fragile line_

_I have known it all this time_

_Never ever thought I'd see it break_

_Never thought I'd see it"_

Emily didn't know what happened. The past couple of days Gillian had been smiling, laughing, happy; happier than Emily had seen her in months. There was a bounce in her step, a twinkle in her eye, and the most contagious smile she'd ever witnessed in her short life. So, when she found her Monday morning sitting cross-legged on the couch, blank stare, and glossed over eyes she didn't know what happened or how to fix it.

She knew it was early, and that she would most likely be speaking to a machine, but she called the Group anyway. She figured she would have forgotten if she waited too long. Ring after ring had her wondering when the answering machine would pick up when she got her answer.

"_Hello?"_

"Ria?"

"_Yes," she said slowly unsure who was on the phone with her. It was too early to be picking up the office phone, she hadn't even had her coffee yet. Damn irritating noise made her do it. She should've just let the machine get it._

"Uh, Gillian's not going to make it in today. She'll be there tomorrow."

"_Okay. Thanks for letting us know, Emily." She didn't ask why, it wasn't her place, and if Emily was calling in for her then something must've happened. She would let everyone know then send them off to do their jobs._

Walking back into the lab Torres flopped down in the seat next to Loker. Scooting closer to the desk, she leaned back watching the screen. "Emily called, Foster's not coming in. Said she'd be in tomorrow."

Loker continued to tap away on his keyboard. "Didn't think she would be."

"This is bullshit. It's literally been months since she's taken a step in this place." Loker nodded along not taking his eyes off the screen. "We've been running this whole place. If I'd wanted to work like this, I'd start my own goddamn company."

"Someone's a bit testy today."

Rolling her eyes, she turned her chair to face him, no longer paying attention to what was playing. "Look, just because Lightman died doesn't mean life stopped. She can't keep acting like the world ended."

Loker sighed, and rubbed his brow. "You have to understand, her world did end. They'd been together nearly everyday for ten or so years. You don't just get over that. She'll be back when she's ready, and until then we'll make sure there's something to come back to."

Understanding where he was coming from, she huffed. "Fine, but I want a raise."

Putting the phone back in its cradle, Emily slowly moved back to the living room. She still hadn't moved. Stopping in front of her, Emily waved her hand in front of Gillian's eyes wanting a response. She didn't blink, didn't flinch, her eyelids didn't even so much as twitch, and she didn't seem to hear when Emily called her name. So, she hunkered down to see if she could wait her out.

By early afternoon Emily knew she wasn't going to win. Gillian hadn't so much as nodded off. Tired of endless racking her brain trying to figure out what could have set her off, Emily stood and stretched. She spotted a shinny ring on the coffee table. She had been wondering where Gillian had hidden it or if she'd kept it at all, but she hadn't had the nerve to ask.

Crouching down, she crept over to it. It was still as lovely as she remembered. Picking the ring up, Emily moved it minutely back and forth letting the light bounce off the small diamond. She hoped this second wasn't the one Gillian decided to make a reappearance in her body for.

Emily nearly jumped from her skin when she heard fabric rustle behind her. Wiping her head around, she noticed Gillian had shifted in her seat. One knee was tucked under her chain, the other leg hidden under her. Setting the ring back down, Emily breathed in with relief; though she wanted Gillian out of her zombie state, she was glad her eyes remained unfocused and hazy for the time being.

Standing up, Emily slowly went to her room. She didn't figure Gillian would miss her for the next few minutes.

When Emily's door shut, Gillian blinked. Dully, she looked around the room before letting her eyes drift back to the place they'd been occupying all day. She waited a breath or two then set her head against her knee. "I can feel you back there, watching me."

Footsteps sounded on the wooden floor, and she squeezed she eyes shut wondering why they sounded so real. She felt him sit next to her. Felt his weight sink in the cushion, felt herself lean toward the dip. She could hear his soft breathing, and strong heartbeat; could feel his sleeve catch against hers as he shifted around. How could it all be in her head? How could none of it be real when her senses told her it was?

She moved her head up, resting her chin on her knee. "Please leave me alone."

His clothes rustled against the couch. "You say that every time, and I still can't do it, love."

Her eyes stung, whether it was from the impending tears or because she hadn't blinked in a while she didn't know. "Why not?"

She could feel his arm as he draped it over her shoulders. "You don't want me gone or I wouldn't be here right now."

Taking a deep breath, she kept the tears at bay. "Why did you leave me?"

His fingers ran through her hair. She shuttered; a chill running down her spin. "What do you want me to say, darlin'?"

A lone tear escaped carving a path for its brothers to follow. "I don't know."

"Then neither do I."

It was silent for a few minutes, his words sinking in. Too exhausted to think anymore, she scooted down the couch, and laid down, her head landing on his lap. He began playing with her hair again, and she found she actually wanted to sleep. She was safe. Forcing her eyes to stay open, she knew he would, most likely, be gone when she woke up. He arrived randomly, sometimes days after his last appearance, and she didn't want to waste the precious little time she had with him. Though, even as she fought her eyelids disobeyed.

Emily softly cursed as she checked the clock, she been up there longer then she intended. Creeping down the stairs, book in hand; she stopped as she saw Gillian move. Her chin was on her knee now, and Emily could hear her murmuring, but she couldn't make out the words.

Sitting on the steps, she watched with interest. Countless times within the last few weeks she'd heard Gillian whispering behind doors or in other rooms, but she quickly stopped whenever someone came around. Finally there was no way for her to hide because she didn't knew Emily was there.

She stopped muttering, and Emily watched intently wondering what was happening. She watched as Gillian slid down the couch, and laid down. Waiting until she was absolutely sure Gillian was asleep, Emily softly padded down the remaining steps. Tip toeing over, she grabbed a spare blanket, and covered Gillian with it before heading back upstairs.

Jolting up, Gillian realized it was dark out. She was sure it had been light when she closed her eyes. Without looking around, she knew he was gone, and she felt her gut twist. Each time he reappeared only to disappear sent a shock through her heart. It was like being at the hospital all over except no one told her anymore. She could just feel it.

Picking up her cell phone, she quickly hit one then call. It rang and rang, and she willed it to ring faster. Finally his voice came on the line telling her the same old thing: name and number, and he'd get back.

No one had ever found his phone. It hadn't been at the hospital with him, and it wasn't where he was found. It was just gone. She hadn't canceled the line though. Each month she looked through the cell phone bill, and each month she came up empty. No outgoing calls, no texts to or from, there was nothing. It frustrated her to no end, but she couldn't just end it. She needed to be able to hear him, sometimes his voice got distorted in her head, and she called to remind herself how it sounded.

Hundreds of miles away, a man sat on a simple bed looking at the phone buzzing beside him. Picking it up, he was temped to throw it against the wall. She always called at some point, always late at night. Every once in a while, his thumb hovered over the answer button, but he never hit it, always chicken out.

Hearing his name, the hide the cell under the floorboards, and hoped tonight was a night she only called once. He didn't know how many times he would be able to convince them it was rats in the floor.


	11. Having Little Talks: Part 3

_**Redone**  
_

_Little Talks: Part 3_

"_You're gone, gone, gone away; I watched you disappear_

_All that's left is a ghost of you_

_Now we're torn, torn, ton apart; there's nothing we can do_

_Just let me go; we'll meet again soon_

_Now wait, wait, wait for me; please hang around_

_I'll see you when I fall asleep_

_Hey!_

_Don't listen to a word I say_

_Hey!_

_The screams all sound the same_

_Hey!_

_Thought the truth may vary, this ship will carry_

_Our bodies safe to shore"_

When she finally walked back through those doors, her heart hurt. There was an actually stab of pain that coursed through her chest, and stole her breath. The air was stale, and felt like it was pushing down on her, pushing her back as though it wanted her to leave. The white walls weren't comforting anymore, and his name hanging on the wall caused her eyes to sting. It took a few days before she could walk in without her eyes stuck to the ground.

A week or two was how long it took for her to get everything mostly back on track. She had hoped it been long enough since his passing, but apparently she had the wrong idea. A majority of the staff continued to walk on eggshells around her. Maybe, they were acting that way was because she had just come back. It had been months since she'd seen most of them and so it was understandable that they were unsure of how to act around her, but she wished they'd just get over it. No one ever stayed around long, only lingering long enough to update her, and leave again. Though she wanted her staff to stop acting like she'd break the second life started piling up again, she didn't mind that they actively tried to avoid her, it meant less time trying to explain why she was constantly muttering to herself.

Rarely did she ever go out on cases anymore, never really ever felt up to it. Each case sparked a memory. Sometimes it was something so small, insignificant even, but it managed to find a path in her mind and follow it to things she wanted to keep buried. Granted, it was hard to keep things buried when he was constantly hounding her.

There'd been a need to okay nearly every case they received lately. He'd left them so far in the red it wasn't funny, and her lack of attention the pass few months hadn't helped the situation. She'd been bent over stacks of paper for days trying to figure out the finances, and found she'd be lucky if she could keep the place afloat.

He was lying on her couch, one foot on the ground, his other leg searched out, tossing a ball up and down. Up and down, up and down, up and down, he was driving her insane. It seemed to be his purpose in life and in death. "What are we doin' today, Foster?"

"Will you stop that?" Her hands hit the desk hard.

His head pop off the couch at the anger in her tone. The ball fell to the floor, and bounced away. Sitting up, he faced her. "What's gotten into you?"

Gillian, frustrated, threw her pen down, and watched it roll off the edge of her desk. She didn't even try to stop it. "Nothing." He eyed her then the pen, and then brought his eyes back to hers with his eyebrow raised. She relented after a couple quiet moments under his gaze, and leaned against her desk, her chair rolling back slightly. "Everything. Sometimes this is too much, and I would like it if you stopped."

He stood up, walked across the room, and sat down in front of her. Watching her like he always did, his eyes absorbing all the information he needed. She didn't need to say a thing if she didn't want to, he was in her head after all. "Stopped what?"

"I can't… I can't think when you're this close."

Slouching down, he threw an arm over the back of the seat. "I've always been close."

Rolling her eyes, she released an exasperated sigh. "That was before you were a figment of my severely overtaxed mind."

He huffed at her statement. "That really hurt. You should be more careful with your words." Smiling, he waited patiently for her to return it, but she didn't. Slowly the grin fell from his face, his blue orbs running over her face. "What's the matter? Know it's not me, so who did it? What's goin' on?"

Propping her head up with her hands, Gillian closed her eyes. Her head hurt, her eyes burned, and she was tired, so dreadfully tired. "Loker and his big month. He could, possibly, single handedly bankrupt this company."

"This is all soundin' familiar. What'd he do this time?"

"Disagreed. Now, we'll not be getting paid for the many hours spent on the Anderson case." She rubbed her brow, looking him in the eye. "Sometimes I think I should just fire him."

He shook his head, the corners of his mouth dipping down in an effort to not smile. "Na, you won't do that. He knows it, I know it, and you… you diffidently know it. Would be a waste of the many times you saved his sorry ass from the can before."

Rolling her shoulders, she picked up a stack of paper straightening it, and placed it on the edge of her desk. One stack down and only a dozen more to go.

"But I should. It would be easier to make money."

Cal straightened up at her words, a defiant gleam in his eyes. "This job's not about money, Gillian. It's about the truth. Finding the truth no matter what."

Taking another pile, she skimmed through the contents. "There won't be any truth finding if we're out on the streets."

"We could go back to doing it out of a shoebox in our kitchen."

Her eyes were blurry; briefly, she wondered when that happened. Blinking hard, she tried to clear her sight, not sparing a glace at his comment. "You mean I could do it out of a shoebox in my kitchen."

She looked at him when he didn't answer for a while. He looked a little hurt to her, but she watched as he brushed it off. "I'd be there too."

She held his eyes, daring him to contradict her. "You're not real, Cal. At best you're an imaginary friend, at worst I've gone crazy either way no one can see you. You're not real." Muttering the last part to herself, she turned back to her work.

"I'm real to you, darlin'."

He had a point there, he was real to her, but only her. And not real enough to prove she hadn't gone off the deep end.

Her cell phone rang. Reaching over, she picked it up, and looked at the screen.

Cal watched her intently. Watched as her shoulders tensed, eyes widened, and her breathing quickened. The reaction confused him. Rarely was that what happened when she hadn't even answered yet. "Who's callin'?"

"You are." With a trembling finger, she pushed down hard on the answer button. "C-Cal?" She stuttered, her voice shaking.

"Why is it you think I'm on that phone? I'm dead in case you forgot."

She waved her hand at him telling him to be quiet, and shot him a hard glare. She hated when he told her what she already knew.

No one was answered her, but she could hear soft breaths over the line. She wanted aguishly for an answer, a voice to talk to her, for something to happen. They were at a stand-off, each listening to the other one breath until a soft click sounded, and all went quiet.

She was barely aware that she'd removed the phone from her ear, and was now staring at it, her mouth hanging open. She'd called his phone so many times, and never once had anybody answered. Never once in all the time she'd wished and hoped for it. And never had they called her.

"Ben!" Gillian barged into the lab, the door hitting the wall behind her. "Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, can… can you trace the – the – the call I just got?" Her hands shook at her side, and she balled them into fist to stop it.

The semi-busy FBI agent turned from the screen he was watching, and immediately took Gillian by the shoulders and sat her down. She was pale, paler than he'd seen her in a while, and she was shaking. "Take a deep breath, and tell me what's going on?"

"It – It was him. He called me."

"Who's he?" Ben asked, confused.

"Cal. He – he – he called me." She continued to stutter over her words, her mouth not keeping up with her brain.

"Gillian…" His hand sat on his hip, and the other rubbed at his forehead. To be truthful, he'd expected a full on breakdown long before now, and was surprised when he hadn't seen it.

"Stop looking at me like that, Ben. I am not crazy."

There was a venom in her voice he'd never heard before. Something he assumed was saved for special people who actually managed to piss of the normally kind-hearted, docile woman.

"He just called me." She pulled out her phone, and flipped to the call log. Finding it, she held it out for him to see.

He eyed it skeptically, crossing his arms. "Did he speak to you?"

"N-no, he didn't." Her eyes were cast down; she couldn't or wouldn't hold his gaze.

"Did anyone speak to you?"

"No, but…"

"There are no 'buts', Gillian. I think you should go home, take a break, relax a little… "

Furious, Gillian stood up, cutting him off, and forced Reynolds to back away from her. She poked him hard in the chest once. "Just trace the damn number," she ordered leaving the same way she entered.

She waited hours, pacing her office, to see if he'd done as she asked. She hadn't seen or heard a peep from anyone since she stormed out of the lab. She sat on the edge of her chair, her tired head resting in her hands, a thousand things vying for attention in her crowded mind. What if it was him? What if he was alive? Had been the whole time. Could she deal with that? What would she do?

If she had been out prowling the halls like she wanted too, she could imagine the looks she'd be getting. All the pity that would be thrown her way. Poor Gillian, poor crazy Gillian, finally lost all her marbles.

Entering without a knock, Reynolds startled her from her thoughts. "There's nothing out there, just a bunch of empty warehouses."

Getting up, she smoothed out the imperceptible wrinkles in her skirt. There was no need to show them she'd gotten her hopes up. What good would it do? So, mustering all the professionalism she could, she slid a half stitched together mask on. Standing straight backed and rigid, she clasped her hands together, letting his words sink in before firing back. "Did you go there? Did you search them all?"

"Yeah, I went, and had a look around, but no one was there. There wasn't a cell phone, a person, a car, hell, there weren't even tire treads. It didn't look like anybody had been there in a while." He turned to go, but stopped at the door. Looking back, he asked her, "This is just some sick bastard messing with you. Why are you letting him in your head?"


	12. Have Sweet Dreams Of Me

_**Wow. That took forever. Anyway, I redid the last chapter, but that is beside the point. **  
_

_Sweet Dreams_

"_Turn the lights on_

_Every night I rush to my bed_

_With hopes that maybe I'll get a chance to see you_

_When I close my eyes I'm going out of my head_

_Lost in a fairytale, can you hold my hands and be my guide?_

_Clouds filled with stars cover your skies_

_And I hope it rains, you're the perfect lullaby_

_What kind of dream is this?_

_You could be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare_

_Either way I don't wanna wake up from you_

_(Turn the lights on)_

_Sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare_

_Somebody pinch me, your love's to good to be true_

_(Turn the lights on)_

_My guilty pleasure, I ain't going nowhere_

_Baby long as you're here, I'll be floating on air_

'_Cause you're my_

_You can be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare_

_Either way I don't wanna wake up from you_

_(Turn the lights on)"_

She sat with her back against the headboard; her knees tucked to her chest, her arms wrapped around them, and her phone setting by her feet. She was waiting. It was a game of waiting: for his call, for there to be answer, for something to put her mind at ease.

Once or twice a month her cell would ring and his number would pop up. She would hurriedly answer, only to have no one speak to her. It was frustrating, so very frustrating. But she kept telling herself that one day someone would answer, and she wouldn't have to listen to the sound of her own voice. It was the only way to go through with it.

Sometimes when they called she yelled and raged, irritated that they continued to toy with her, playing with her emotions. Other times, she sat quietly listening to the gentle breathing of her unknown tormenter. But she couldn't stop. She waited up for that call most nights in case it came in.

The vibrations by her foot startled her, and she accidently kicked it off the bed. Dashing after it, she swiped it up, and stared at the ID. Sliding down the wall, she curled into the tightest ball she could, and hit the talk button.

"Hello?"

He'd called her again. Couldn't help it, sometimes he just wanted to hear her. Her voice, her breath, just to know she was alright. But each time he called, her voice grew more desperate, and now as he listened she sounded cold and hollow. It unnerved him. That behavior was so foreign in her. She was always bright and cheery. Worry clawed at his chest.

He never spoke just listened to her. Sometimes, she would called out a name, other times she would start rumbling on about who knew what. He didn't mind though, didn't paid attention to her words, they were unimportant. He only wanted to hear the soft hum of her voice. But something was changing with her, and he had a choice to make.

She'd began ignoring the phone calls. They still came once or twice a month, but she tried to resist the urge to answer. It was a difficult task to do, every time she saw the number her heart lurched.

Gradually, she began answering but not speaking. Then, she would wait until the last ring. Next, she'd only answer every once in a while, and finally she just took to staring at the nosy contraption until it stopped ringing.

Waiting for the rest of her employees to join her in the conference room, her mind wandered to the pervious night. Her phone had rang and rang. The same number, one call after the other until she finally removed the battery, effectively killing it.

Why send call after call? What was the point when no one ever asked. Had the caller finally decided they were bored enough, and wanted to chit-chat? She dropped down onto her seat, letting her shoulders sag and her head hang, her hair shielding her face.

Torres interrupted. Placing a gentle hand on Gillian's shoulder, she indicated everyone was there. Taking a deep breath to collect her scattered thoughts, she stood, using the table as support. She tapped her knuckle on the table before looking at everyone. "I'm sorry to have to tell you all this, but it looks like we're going to have to start laying people off."

Murmuring broke out in the room.

She never thought she'd make it here, never thought she'd be letting people go. Clearing her throat, she spoke over them. "When I get this all straightened out, and the company's back on track there'll be a job for anyone who wants to returns." The murmurs increased in volume. She heard the door shut beside her, and caught a brown head streak down the hall in the corner of her eye.

She felt sick. Flattening her hands on the table, she in breathed deeply, and let her head hang again. She assumed that would have been Emily. In truth, she'd for gotten the girl was there. Though, Gillian wasn't sure why. She was always there helping out where she could.

Loker and Torres let their eyes follow the girl's path. They watched as she collided with a man. He was of average height, and build, but nothing particular from what they could see. A moment later, the man finally set Emily down, and Torres nearly spit out her sip of coffee.

"What the hell is he doing…?" A firm smack to Loker's chest stopped his sentence. He rubbed at the sore spot mouthing 'ow' as Torres gestured back to the man moving toward the door.

Gillian heard the door open, and footsteps come in. Immediately, she noticed the sound dampen. A restlessness settled in the air unrelated to what she'd just said. The hair on the back of her neck stood as she felt multiple sets of eyes on her. Her stomach twisted, and she had a fleeting thought that maybe breakfast hadn't been a great idea that morning.

"Gillian?"

Slowly her eyes closed. That was the clearest his voice had sounded in a year, almost like he was beside her. That damn ghost hadn't been around in days, and so in true Cal Lightman form, it was only natural for him to reappear while she was in a crowded room.

"Gill?"

She could pen point Emily's concerned, yet unnatural high pitched voice to her right. Taking one more second to collect herself, Gillian straightened up, and turned toward her. As her tired blue eyes landed on his form, she barely reacted. He looked different to her, more whole.

Wearily, she watched him move closer. When he stopped, he was close enough that she could feel his breath on her cheek. That was new. As she went to step back, he grabbed her arms, holding her in place. Surprise hit her as his lips pressed down hard on hers. That was new also.

Too shocked to move, the kiss continued a moment longer. Rough, and passionate, and just like she remembered. It was so real. Pushing away, her hand covered her mouth, and her eyes blurred with tears. Not even a second later, she had all but ran from the room, leaving most in disbelief, and one sorrowful looking Lightman.

He stood still, not sure what had happened. He figured she would have been happy to see him, sure the anger and hurt would come later, but the joy that he was alive and walking around would have come first. He felt a hand on his shoulder, and looked down to see Emily's bright eyes on him.

"She'll come around, I'm sure she's just shocked." She hugged him tight, and pecked his cheek. "I'll go talk her." Before leaving, she hugged him again, adding, "I'm really glad you're alive."

Soon after Emily left, he dismissed everyone else with out any explanation as to why or how he was back. Moving out to the hall, he retrieved the duffle bag he'd dropped on the floor, and headed for what use to be his office.

The door was shut, and for a slight moment he hesitated before turning the handle and entering. It was exactly the same. Every book in its place, everything as it always had been before he left for that fateful meeting, there wasn't even a speck of dust. The only thing missing was a stack of files. He marveled at it for a moment, taking in everything that had been ripped away from him the previous year.

Dropping his duffle, he took to pacing the halls, waiting for a sign of life from her office.

Emily slipped into the room locking the door behind her, making sure no one was going to barge in. Gillian didn't notice; she was too busy bent over her desk trying to catch her breath. Emily didn't want to touch her, she seemed jumpy enough. She felt startling Gillian like that would be unhelpful in the current situation, so Emily settled on just speaking instead.

"You have to breathe, Gill. You're going to pass out if you keep this up."

Emily watched as she jolted in surprise, and spun around. Maybe that hadn't been the best approach either. Moving slowly, Emily sat in a chair, and waited.

Gillian closed her eyes, trying to slow her breathing, but her lungs refused to let her. How was she suppose to explain why she ran out of the meeting like she had? She could hear herself now, _'I'm sorry. I had a mini make-out session with a hallucination, and it was a little stunning.'_ Yeah, she was sure that would go over well.

"Aren't you happy he's back?"

Her eyes snapped open. How did she know? She shook her head. "What are you talking about?"

Confusion raised Emily's eyebrows as she stared at her. "Dad."

Pushing off the desk, Gillian began to walk the length of the room. "Your father's dead, Emily."

Not understanding, she didn't move from her seat. "We were just in the conference room with him. You saw him. He kissed you."

Gillian continued to pace, shaking her head she folded her arms across her chest. "That wasn't him. He's dead. He can't come back."

Flabbergasted by her need to deny what she'd seen, Emily bounced from the chair over to her. Taking Gillian by the shoulders, Emily sat her down, tired of watching her go back and forth. "Then how do you explain everyone seeing it?"

"I don't know," she replied in a breathless whisper. Her stomach tighten when she thought that maybe, just maybe, Emily was right, and he really was there. But that wasn't possibly, people don't come back from the dead.

Emily watched, unsure what to do. Gillian was apparently completely set against believing her for the moment. Growing concerned as she watched her, Emily considered her next course of action. Gillian seemed to grow paler by the second, and before Emily could react Gillian had leaned over the side of the couch, and lost the small breakfast she'd forced down.

Patting her back until she was done, Emily told her not to move as she left to find something to clean up the minor mess with. Walking back in, Emily paid no mind to the fact that Gillian had zoned out. She didn't it quite often, and was always back with in a minute or two. By the time she was done cleaning with the small, yet disgusting inconvenience Gillian was asleep on the couch.

Cal stopped his pacing when he heard the clacking of heels headed for him. Turning toward the sound he was greeted with the sight of his smiling ex-wife. She held out her arms, and they half hugged as they placed a peck on each other cheek.

"Glad to see you're finally back. I thought you weren't suppose to be done for a while longer."

He shrugged, murmuring, "At least somebody is."

"What was that?"

Looking at her, he shook his head. "Nothing. I wasn't, but I finished everything early, and left."

"You didn't tell anyone?"

"Nope." He noted her disapproving look, and decided to try and placate her. "Look, I did what they wanted, they had what they need to take him down, and they'll find out soon enough. I needed to get back here."

She took in the urgency of his last sentence, and nodded. Glancing at the floor for a quick second she asked, "How'd it go?"

He sighed hard, and rubbed at his forehead. "She -" He stopped as Gillian's office door opened. They watched as Emily walked out, waved off their looks, and headed down the hall. She reappeared a few moments later with a bucket and some rugs before slipping back into the room.

He started again. "She ran away. She looked shocked, and scared, and hurt, and she ran."

She nodded at him. "What about Emily?"

Smiling, Cal run his hand over his mouth. "It was quite possibly the biggest hug I've ever gotten from her."

Zoe listened, thinking of what she was going to say. "You can't be surprised by the Gillian thing. You have to remember to her, both of them, you've been dead a year. There was no maybe you'd come back."

"Why are you bein' helpful? What's happened?" He eyed her suspiciously.

"Nothing happened, Cal. It's been hard is all."

"I die, and suddenly you two are best friends. The world really is bloody ending."

"Don't be like that. She needed someone to be there, and I understood how she felt. Okay?"

Emily reemerged interrupting their conversation. Cal turned to her. Not missing a beat, he wrapped his arm around her shoulder, and gave it a squeeze. "How's it goin' in there, love?"

She rocked back and forth a few times, and shrugged. "Not to good. She got sick, but she's sleeping now. Out like a light."

Cal frowned. Quickly, he decided on the night's plans, and put them into action. It'd only been a few hours, but he was pooped. Planting on kiss on Emily's head, he said, "Why don't we call it a night, yeah?"

Zoe remained silent as Emily nodded at him.

"How shall we do this then?"

Emily pointed to him. "You get the car," she said as she tossed him her keys. Then, pointing to herself, stated, "And I'll see if I can get Gillian up long enough to get her to the car."

He didn't argue with her, and gave a nod to Zoe as he left with his shoulders slouched, and his hands in his pockets.

**_If anything is confusing I'll be trying to clear that at some point, hopefully._**


	13. Have Sweet Dreams Of Me: Part 2

_**Holla' (I have no idea if that is right) I'm back (for anybody that is reading). That took forever, it shouldn't have, but it didn't. Sadly, dead week wasn't all that dead, and finals week wasn't any better. **  
_

_**Well, that's all I have to say except any screw ups are mine, and I still don't own a damn thing.**_

_Sweet Dreams: Part 2_

"_I mention you when I say my prayers_

_I wrap you around all of my thoughts_

_Boy you're my temporary high_

_I wish that when I wake up you're there_

_To wrap your arms around me for real_

_And tell me you'll stay by my side_

_Clouds filled with stars cover the skies_

_And I hope it rains, you're the perfect lullaby_

_What kind of dream is this?_

_You could be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare_

_Either way I don't wanna wake up from you_

_Sweet dream or beautiful nightmare_

_Somebody pinch me, your love's too good to be true_

_(Turn the lights on)_

_Mu guilty pleasure, I ain't going nowhere_

_Baby long as you're here, I'll be floating on air_

'_Cause you're me_

_You can be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare_

_Either way I don't wanna wake up from you_

_(Turn the lights on)"_

He had waited a good ten minutes out front until he finally saw them come through the door. He assumed Emily had been unsuccessful in waking Gillian, when he spotted her being carried out by Reynolds, who he hadn't even known was in the building. Though it didn't surprise him. Nodding gratefully at the man as he set her in the passenger seat, Cal grabbed the seatbelt offered to him, and buckled her in. She didn't stir. Emily hopped in the back, a grin from ear to ear splitting her face.

They didn't speak on the ride home, didn't want to risk waking her up. When they pulled into the driveway, Cal shut off the car, tossed the keys to Emily, and she was gone before his thought was even halfway to his mouth.

Walking around the car, he opened the passenger door, and kneeled down. He looked at her, taking in everything he'd missed. There was something different about her, something he could quite nail down. There was that haunted look in her eye, but he'd expected something like that, it'd been one hell of a year, and he would've been more concern if it hadn't been there. No, it was something else. Taking in her well-put-together, yet slightly haggard state, he released a heavy sigh.

He should have let her know, he could kick himself now for not doing it. But he'd been in no position to make demands, or to do what he wanted. He let the thoughts sink away to the back of his mind, he would deal with them later, and when he finally managed to piece together everything he knew about the last year there was going to be hell to pay.

Hearing footsteps behind him, Cal shook his head, imagining the questioning look on her face. "Just coming, darling," he said, leaning around and unlatching the seatbelt. Picking Gillian up, he marveled at how light she felt. He couldn't tell if she'd lost weight or if it was how much she had always weighted. His wandering mind froze when he felt her nuzzle into his neck, and a smile broke onto his face.

Walking through the front door, he stopped letting the feeling sink in. Much like his office very little had changed. There were a few more pictures, magazines, and chick flicks scattered around, but that was about it.

He was still standing in the doorway when he felt her eyelashes brush against his neck. When she didn't say anything he figured she was still mostly asleep. Though that didn't stop a chill of running through him when he felt her fingertips glide across his chest before latching onto his shirt.

It was an odd feeling, almost, being that close. To her, to any of them actually. It'd been a year almost, and it was just truly hitting him that he was back. He wasn't going to wake and realize it was a dream because this time it was real. He was back, and everyone was safe and unharmed, for the most part.

Cal started when he was gently shoved forward. Emily pushed through the small space she'd created.

"You should probably put her upstairs." The suggestion came along with a megawatt smile.

Slowly, Cal ascended the stairs, taking as long as he could. He wanted as much time as he could get. Considering her earlier reaction to him, he wasn't looking to their second meeting post return.

Pushing open the door to his old room, he ignored the fact that it too was nearly unchanged. His death had, apparently, casted ripples wider than he'd originally thought. Of course, he knew they'd grieve for a time, but he also figured they eventually move on.

Setting her gently on the bed, he grabbed a throw blanket hanging from the edge of the bed, and covered her with it.

He stood there watching, thinking about his hell of a year. At one point, he hadn't thought he was going to make it back to them, and that lapse in thinking had almost ended with him in some unknown grave on the outskirts of some unknown town.

She shifted, and Cal slowly backed out of the room. He wanted more time before facing her again. He needed to prepare for the fury that would later be aimed his way.

Later found him on the couch, Emily beside him retelling the year's events.

"I'm sorry I missed your graduation, Em."

She shrugged. "It's alright, not like anything big happened."

He let the comment hang in the air for a moment. "On that note, shouldn't you be off at school somewhere?"

She nodded, looking down at the couch. "I didn't think it was a good time to leave. Nothing was really settled."

He looked at her skeptically, recalling her tales of being as far away from his prying eyes as she could get. Then again, he guessed she figured she had. "Em…"

She shook her head, stopping him. Assuming she already knew what he was going to say. "If you think I stayed for mom or Gillian, I didn't. I just wasn't ready to be alone after everything."

Watching her like a hawk, he looked for any signs she was lying. Seeing she wasn't, he leaned back into the couch, his hands up in surrender. "Alright, fair enough." He waited a second before speaking again. "How about the rest?"

Emily shrugged, a small frown lingering on her face. "She tried. Everyone tried, really, to keep everything as normal as possible. We had Chinese at the office for Thanksgiving. And Christmas was hard." She watched his face fall, she didn't want to hurt him, didn't want to tell him, but she knew he'd find out sooner or later. "I made her skip the office party, and Christmas day. She just looked so sad."

Emily paused, letting the words find their new home. He was no longer watching her. Instead, he mindlessly stared at the coffee table, taking in a new water ring. "We went for a drive, and everything was great. We were laughing, and joking, and then we got back." She sighed. "And she just shut down again."

Cal eyes didn't shift toward her, but he heard the reluctance in her voice to continue. He scooted closer, and wrapped an arm around her. He wasn't going to urge her to keep going; he didn't want to hear it just as much as she didn't want to relive it. The depression, the anger, the sadness and longing, he didn't want to hear any of it because he knew he'd caused it.

A sound woke him later. He and Emily were still on the couch. Blearily, he looked around. It was dark. The only light emanated from the DVD player, but it wasn't enough to stop him from banging his shin on the coffee table.

Biting his cheek to stop from cursing, he stumbled his way to the stairs, and went up. Standing outside the room they once shared, his hand hesitated over the doorknob. He couldn't just go in like before, it wasn't his room or even theirs, it was hers. Just hers, plain and simple. He'd died, and no longer held claim over anything within the house. That left him with a question: intrude on her privacy or not?

It'd never bothered him before, and though annoyed most of the time, she never seemed to really mind until he trounced too much on the wrong side of the line. When they'd had a line, of course. Mostly, she'd started rolling her eyes, and sighing at him before walking away.

Hearing another thump, he slowly twisted the handle, and stepped in, leaving the door open a crack behind him. The lamp was on, and he knew he hadn't done it, so his next guess was that Emily had.

Gillian was tossing and turning, the throw having fell off that some point during the day/night she'd been up there. He wasn't sure what to do: wake her up or leave her trapped in what was obliviously a nightmare.

Sitting down on the bed, she sunk into the dip he'd made, but didn't wake. He never was very good at letting her suffer through things unless he had too, and he realized that was going to be a difficult thing to prove now. In all reality, he hadn't had to let her think he was dead or let struggle through a year of heartache.

Setting a hand on her arm, he nearly jumped from his skin as she bolted up, a shill shriek racing from her.

The thought that first came to him was to calm her down. He reached out, placing his hand on her shoulder, and spoke softly. "It's alright, love. It was just a dream."

Frightened and still half asleep, she pushed away from him, half stumbling half crawling until she was off the bed, and curled up in a corner.

He didn't know what to say, didn't know how to help her. He could only sit there and be useless. It was not a feeling Cal Lightman particularly enjoyed. There was rarely a time when he didn't have a plan of attack, and he found, now, that there was probably a good reason for that.

Emily rushed in, tossing a sympathetic glance his way. Quickly making it around the bed, she kneeled beside Gillian. The next move depended entirely upon Gillian. Every time was different. Sometimes she grabbed on and wouldn't let go, other times she flinched away when anyone tried to help.

She didn't jerk away when Emily patted her arm, and she took that was a good sign. Gillian was curled up as tightly as she could get. Her head rested on her knees, eyes facing away from the bed. Emily watched quietly as a silent tear rolled over the bridge of Gillian's nose, and dangled there for a moment before falling on her knee, only to be soaked up by fabric.

"Why won't he leave me alone?"

It was soft, and Emily hoped it was quiet enough that her father hadn't heard, but as she heard the practically noiseless click of the door she knew he had.

Coaxing Gillian back to the bed hadn't been terribly difficult, it never was. Always more or less like most other nights. And like most other mornings, Gillian would be apologizing for doing this to her again.

Slipping out of the room, Emily found Cal leaning against the wall across from the doorway. He looked tired and haggard, like he hadn't slept in months. He didn't speak right away.

His head fell forward, and he rubbed his brow before dragging his hand down his face. "She's scared of me."

Emily felt horrible for him. She didn't know the story yet, but she was sure there was a good reason he'd done what he'd done, and coming back to all of this was, probably, just the icing on top. "She's not really. You just startled her is all."

"That makes me feel loads better. She doesn't think I'm real, Em. This is bloody fantastic."


	14. Have Sweet Dreams Of Me: Part 3

_**Here's a short little something or other. By the way, I totally wish I was better at making up chapter titles, and I feel like my love of commas really shows through here. There's probably a few that don't need to be in here.**  
_

_Sweet Dreams: Part 3_

"_Tattoo your name across my heart_

_So it will remain_

_Not even death can make us part_

_What kind of dream is this?_

_You could be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare_

_Either way I don't wanna wake up from you_

_(Turn the lights on)_

_Sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare_

_Somebody pinch me, your love's too good to be true_

_(Turn the lights on)_

_My guilty pleasure, I ain't going nowhere_

_Baby long as you're here, I'll be floating on air_

'_Cause you're my_

_You can be a sweet dream or a beautiful nightmare_

_Either way I don't wanna wake up from you_

_(Turn the lights on)_

_Either way I don't wanna wake up from you"_

Tying the belt around her sweater, Gillian descended the stairs. It had been one hell of a night. He was everywhere. There when she slept, there when she was awake, apparently he hadn't taken it to kindly when she'd told him to buzz off the week before.

It hadn't been that she didn't want him around because she did. She'd take what she could get. It was just the longer it got from the last time she'd actually seen Cal the more un-Cal like her imagination made her "friend" to be. He was more complacent and docile now, and she hated it. She wanted to fight and argue, bicker and banter with him, and he refused, so she'd sent him away.

Halfway down the stairs she sighed, she was going to have to apologize to Emily again. Each time it happened, Gillian told herself it would be the last time. That she would stop (accidentally or not) dragging Emily into her inability to let go or move on. And each time, she'd lied. The only thing she could do was apologize, and hope Emily didn't get tired of it.

Reaching the bottom, movement from the living room caught her eye. Whipping her head around, she steadied herself using the wall, and wait for her head to stop spinning. When it cleared, she returned to her pervious activity: trying to figure out who was in her house.

Her eyes wandered their way over to the couch. Her breath flew from her lungs; she'd know that mess of hair anywhere. He had come back, and was now sleeping on her couch, blissfully unaware.

It wasn't truly surprising to her that he was there; he hadn't left since the day before. The only part she didn't really understand was when he normally showed up he was never out of her sight. He was never just in a room when she walked in. He always originated wherever she was, not a room away. Though, seeing him after a week was breathtaking nonetheless.

Gillian sat on the bottom stair, feeling unsteady on her legs. It was mesmerizing to watch the rise and fall of his chest, she never noticed if he actually breathed before. Why would he though? Ghosts don't need air in their lungs, if they have lungs, that is.

She was almost tempted to go over and see if she could touch him. It had never worked before; he was an imaginary friend, of sorts. But right then, he looked so real, so solid, like she could reach and actually feel him.

She didn't know how long she'd been sitting there when she heard footsteps heading toward her. Out of the corner of her eye, Gillian watched as Emily stopped and sat on the stair above her, and peeked around the banister to look at the couch.

Turning back to Gillian, Emily smiled a little. "So, do you believe he's real today?" Emily watched Gillian's eyes go wide, and her mouth involuntary open and hang there. She laughed.

Gillian's eyes didn't move from his sleeping form for even a fraction of a second. "Are you sure?"

Emily shook her head at the silliness of the question, like she'd ever lie about something like that. Standing up, Emily moved in front of Gillian, and pulled her up. "Of course, I'm sure. Go see for yourself." With that Emily nudged her in the right direction before heading for the kitchen.

Hesitantly, Gillian shuffled over to where he slept. Lowing herself to the floor, she sat on her knees, and scrutinized his face. He looked tired even as he slept, but peaceful. There was a few days worth of stubble on his chin, and he needed a hair cut.

Scooting toward the couch until her knees hit the side; she leaned in, and ran a finger down his jaw line. He didn't move, and she kept repeating the movement, making sure he was really there, and she wasn't dreaming.

She obliviously hadn't noticed. He tried to contain his smile. At least one hard part was over, she believed he was alive. Without opening his eyes, Cal covered her hand with his. He could feel her tense under his fingertips. Suddenly, he was very nervous. The day before was different, he was eager, and happy, and so many other things he couldn't remember them all. But she'd rejected him. What if she did it again after she learned what he'd done?

He heard her breathing pick up, and felt her run her thumb over his bottom lip. Suddenly, he felt brave again. Opening his eyes, right away he met hers. They were wide and watery, and he couldn't help but think they were the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

"Hiya, love," he smiled at her. Letting out the breath, he was sure she'd been holding since his eyes opened, she returned a watery smile. He didn't miss the brief flash of pain that washed over her face before her beaming smile appeared.

Sitting up, he didn't let go of her hand. She hadn't moved from her spot, and he could see the gears whirling in her head. He'd work at her speed, it was the least he could do. Not paying attention, he fell backwards onto the couch as she practically tackled him, her arms in a vice like grip around his neck as she hugged him. He couldn't breathe, but it was worth it to be that close again.

She felt his arms wrap around her, and she held to him tighter. Her head was still reeling. For a moment she could forget the world had crushed down around her while all hell broke loose. Him being there, in that moment, made it worth it. But the relief brought with it the questions. How was he there? How was he even alive? Where had he been the whole time?

Cal begin to worry. They had been sitting like that for a good while, and she still hadn't uttered a single word to him. Pulling away, he held her at arms length. She seemed to still be stuck in a whirlwind of everything she'd just learned, which wasn't much. Knowing what she'd be asking about when her mind was processing information again, he beat her to the punch.

"It's a very long story, love. One, I don't even know half of yet."


	15. Story of Us

_**Here's chapter 15.**  
_

_The Story of Us_

"_I used to think one day we'd tell the story of us_

_How we met and the sparks flew instantly_

_People would say "They're the lucky ones."_

_I used to know my place was a spot next to you_

_Now I'm searching the room for an empty seat_

'_Cause lately I don't even know what page you're on_

_Oh, a simple complication_

_Miscommunications lead to fall-out_

_So many things that I wish you knew_

_So many walls that I can't break through_

_Now I'm standing alone in a crowed room and we're not speaking_

_And I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me, yeah_

_I don't know what to way, since the twist of fate when it all broke down_

_And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now."_

Gillian didn't say a word to him that whole day. She just sat, her arms wrapped as tightly around him as she could get them. His little half explanation seemed to be enough for now. And he was glad for it, he hoped by the time the subject was really brought up again, by the time she truly wanted to know about the last year, he knew more about what had happened himself.

He didn't mind that they hadn't talked, he would have been content to never move again if that was an option.

Emily came through the door, and shut it quietly. She had been gone for a few hours, hopefully giving them enough time to work through some things. Spotting them on the couch, she headed that way.

"I brought back food. Who wants lunch?" She asked, lifting up the bag in her hand.

Cal looked her, not surprised by her sudden appearance, he'd heard the door. How in the hell could it be that late already, he could've sworn they hadn't been sitting there that long. "What time is it?"

"Almost three. Now, who wants food?"

Not having heard a peep from Gillian, Cal looked down wondering if she'd fallen asleep. She hadn't. Her eyes were open and unfocused, and she didn't react when he lightly squeezed her arm.

Turning his questioning gaze to Emily, she shrugged and waved it off. "She'll come around in a minute or two." With her short explanation out in the open, she headed for the kitchen.

That was the first thing he noticed. It wouldn't have stuck out so much if Gillian hadn't told him to leave it alone when he started asking questions. The next thing he saw was a stutter step as they walked to the kitchen. He didn't ask about it, just made a mental note to watch in case she did it again. He was sure there was a secret there, and he wanted to know it.

All that was yesterday though, and now as they made there way into the Group, Cal Lightman sincerely hoped his secret wasn't shared. He knew though trying to keep a secret in this place was nearly impossible with what they did.

Walking in, he spotted Torres, Loker, and Reynolds chatting at the reception desk. He gave Gillian's hand a squeeze as he shot her a sideways glance. She had barely let him out of her sight since the morning before.

As they reached the other group, they stopped. Loker reached out, and shook his hand. "Glad you're back."

Cal nodded to him and Torres before turning to Reynolds. He shook his hand too. He could hear Emily coming up behind them. Letting go of Reynolds hand, Cal watched the man put his hands and his hips, and shake his head.

"How are you back already? Last I heard it was going to be a while."

Cal's eyes closed slowly at the question before opening again. Shit, that happened fast. He didn't even have to look at them too know what was happening. He felt Emily wasn't too shocked, she was a smart girl, and had probably started piecing together what little she knew. He was alive, so somebody obviously had to know about it. He didn't just disappear by himself, though he could if he wanted to.

Gillian on the other hand, he felt her hand go slack in his. The air shifted; this wasn't going to be good.

"You knew?"

Cal cringed. He wasn't a voice expert, but he'd picked up a few things over the years. There was a slight stutter. He could hear the anger, and practically feel it rolling off her. Cal was glad when Reynolds had the frame of mind to look guilty at her actuation. If he was going overboard he wasn't drowning alone.

"Gillian…"

She shook her head, stopping him. The words hard as they left her mouth. "It's either a yes or a no. Did you know he was alive?"

Reynolds casted his eyes down for a moment, his hands never leaving his hips. "I didn't find out until a few months afterwards, but I couldn't tell you even if I wanted to. It could have jeopardized the operation."

Scoffing, a strangled laugh left her throat. "Could have? It could have?" Taking a deep breath, she step away from Cal, and headed toward her office only to stop a few feet away and turn around.

A thought had struck her. If one knew, there was a good chance more did too. "Who else knew?" The only person in the small band to meet her eyes was Emily. Gillian nodded, understanding. "That many, huh?"

Loker piped up, raising his hand. "I overheard Reynolds on a call once. Kind of figured it out from there."

"Well, if – if you knew then so did Torres," she stated looking at the younger woman who continued to find the floor fascinating.

She understood that the less people who knew, the better it was, the safer he was. Her logical side understood that, but it wasn't the side that had spent a year heartbroken. Emotion had barreled over logic long ago, and hearing now that so many around her had known, and could have easily put an end to her torture made her stomach knot. Granted, that wasn't terribly unusual for her stomach to be a twisted mess of nerves, but she could feel her chest tighten. Air was becoming harder to force into her lungs.

Looking to Emily, Gillian managed to squeak out, "Did you know too?"

Eyes widening, Emily shook her head vehemently. "No. No, I would have told you."

In the commotion the group had missed the clicking of heels headed for them. "What's going on here?" Zoe asked, stopping at the small mass of people. They were in the middle of the lobby, and starting to draw attention.

Gillian shrugged, looking around. "Oh, you know, just finding out every person possible knew Cal was alive, and how no one said a damn thing about it." The words ran out in a rush; an anger, most had never seen from her, pushing them out. When Zoe didn't respond in any way, Gillian paused, her fury quelled for the moment. "Oh my God… you knew too. Didn't you?"

Zoe struggled for a second trying to think of what would help the situation before giving up. She decided the truth would be the best defense and the most helpful. "I caught a case, dug too deep, found him, and confronted Agent Reynolds about it." She kept the story short, and to the point. It would only be worse if Gillian found out she'd managed to get a hold of him.

Backing away, her face was blank, unreadable. No one tried to stop her, everyone just watching quietly was she walked away from them. As she disappeared down the hallway that led to her office, the group seemed to let out a collective breath.

"You didn't tell her?" Reynolds questioned, his brow furrowed, lips thin.

"No, ya know, didn't really have time. Thought, maybe, I'd ease my way into that one."

Walking away, Cal headed for the reception desk. He smiled inwardly as Heidi pretended not to be paying any attention to what just happened in front of her work station. Throwing his hands on the counter, he watched as she stopped what she was doing and looked up at him. "What have you got for me?"

Reaching for a small pile of paper, she handed it to him. "Calls. Lots and lots of calls."

Without out looking at the notes, he asked, "From who?"

"He wouldn't let his name, but he left a massage each time saying he'd call again."

Cal nodded, heading for his office. The day had gone to shit, and it wasn't even ten yet.

Figuring he'd find a way to make it up to Gillian later, he started going over his mental notes. She stutter stepped far too often for it to just be a misstep. There had been her trip to lala land yesterday, though he hadn't seen another one. He noticed the tiniest twitch above her right eye, and that outburst today was clue number four. She'd had emotional explosions before when he needled, and poked at her all day. But this one seemed so unlike her. The Gillian he'd left would have understood the need for secrecy, and that sometimes secrets getting out can't be helped. She wouldn't have liked it, but she would have understood it. He was going to get to the bottom of it if it was the last thing he did.

His phone rang, he turned in his chair, and answered. "What?"

"_Dr. Lightman. It's that man again. He's asking to speak with you."_

"Put him though." He waited a beat before the phone clicked over. "Who is this?"

"_Don't tell me you've forgotten already, Mr. Lightman. We spent such a lovely year together."_

Cal was unfazed by the comment. The man did have friends in high place, and it wouldn't be surprising that he had found his way to him. "What do you want?"

"_I was sitting in my cell here, and I thought I'd thank you for the small vacation I'm getting. Then I thought I'd ask about your family. How are they? I heard the good doctor didn't take the news too well."_

That caught his attention. How could he possible know that? He had to be guessing. "She's fine. Is there a point to this conversation?"

"_Of course, there is a point to everything that I do. I'm just letting you know I'm watching."_

"You threaten me?"

"_I don't make threats, Mr. Lightman, you know that."_


	16. Story of Us: Part 2

_**Fastest update I've ever done, I think. Anyway, I saw Brave today, and if you haven't seen it, I recommend you do. It is fantastic. **  
_

_The Story of Us: Part 2_

"_Next chapter._

_How'd we end up this way?_

_See me nervously pulling at my clothes and trying to look busy_

_And you're doing your best to avoid me_

_I'm starting to think one day I'll tell the story of us_

_How I was losing my mind when I saw you here_

_But you held your pride like you should've held me_

_Oh, I'm scared to see the ending_

_Why are we pretending this is nothing?_

_I'd tell you I miss you but I don't know how_

_I've never heard silence quite this loud_

_Now I'm standing alone in t crowed room and we're not speaking_

_And I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me, yeah_

_I don't know what to say, since the twist of fate when it all broke down_

_And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now."_

"That was a really shitty thing for you to do." Emily spit, barraging in, the door hitting the wall behind her.

That was the first either of them had heard from her in a few days. Cal turned away from Zoe, and looked at his daughter. "Em…" He knew it was best to get it all out in the open before either one of them boiled over. It was easier said than done, seeing as neither would spend more than the necessary amount of time around him.

Holding up a finger, she pointed at him. "No, let me finish. I kind of understand you guys not telling me, it's been happening all my life. Big deal. I'm willing to over look that little mental slip, but how could you do that to her?" Emily let the question hang. The more she'd thought about it over the past couple days the angrier the whole situation made her.

She looked to her mother, shaking her head. "I get you doing it, you know, you never really liked Gillian and whatnot. But, you acted like her friend this whole last year."

Zoe's mouth moved to say something, but Emily continued, turning to her father. "And you. You said you love her, asked her to marry you, died, aren't really dead, but continued to let her think it anyway. Do you even understand how hellish this year has been, and how by just knowing you were breathing it would have been ninety percent better?" Having her last thought out, she headed for the door.

Cal called her back. "Emily, wait."

She stopped at the door, and looked at them. "I don't want to talk about it. I just thought I'd let you know it was a shitty thing to do."

Cal looked between the empty doorway, and his ex, his eyebrows pinched together. "Where'd she get the mouth?"

Zoe only shrugged, rolling her eyes. "What'd you call me here for?"

"I figured you'd have the information I wanted, seeing as you're now besties with Gillian."

Zoe's face crunched together at his wording. "Besties? Where could you have possibly learned that word?"

"Don't know. But you're friends, yeah?"

"I wouldn't say friends, but something pertaining to that. Though, I doubt we'll talk after this little fiasco."

He eyed her, his mind switching to the business at hand. "What's wrong with her?"

Rolling her eyes again, Zoe straightened up. "Why don't you ask her yourself?"

Using the pen he'd been fiddling with, he pointed to the door. "You just saw that, yeah?" He waited for her to nod. "Well, that's what I've been getting times two. Only less speaking, more 'I'll rip your throat out with my bare hands if you speak to me' looks."

Sighing, Zoe raised her eyebrows for a second before dropping them again. She cleared her throat. "I don't know. I've only seen little things here and there, and if there is something really wrong she's not saying."

That wasn't the answer he'd been looking for. It wasn't helpful in the least. "How can you people be serious? How does no one know anything? The building is full of lie experts, and no one knows a damn thing."

She huffed, leaning back in her chair. He could be rather ridiculous at times. "Don't get angry with me, Cal. Nobody can make her tell." She paused, not really wanting to say her next thought. Emily was already angry enough at her. But she figured it would be better to just get all of it over with in one go. "If anyone knew anything it would be Emily. She spends the most time with her."

Rolling his chair closer to his desk, Cal reached for the phone.

"Leave her alone, Cal. She's already pissed."

He appeared to consider her opinion for a moment before hitting the button he wanted, and waiting for the other person to answer. "Heidi, get me Emily." He didn't wait for a reply before disconnecting.

They wanted in silence for their daughter. In the quiet, the normal everyday background noises seemed to be amplified: the horns from below, the ticking of the clock, and the many employees bustling around the halls. It felt like hours before the girl finally made it back to them.

"What?" She was irritated, and it was plain to see.

Standing, he moved in front of her, wanting the clearest view of her face he could get. "What's wrong with Gillian?" No reason to beat around the bush.

Emily narrowed her eyes, and crossed her arms. "I don't know."

He searched her face, not finding anything. "You have to know something?"

She almost felt bad for him, he really wanted to know, but that didn't change the fact that she had nothing to tell him. His worry didn't help the fury burning in her belly. She wasn't in the mood to be helpful; he deserved most of what he was getting. "I really don't, but if I did, I wouldn't tell you anyway. It's not mine to spread around."

A knock sounded on the open door, and the woman in question peered in. "Am I interrupting?"

Taking a step away from Emily, Cal cleared his throat. "Nope, why?"

Straightening up, she stepped into the room. She looked shorter than normal. Letting his eyes wander over the length of her body, he spotted she was in flats instead of her customary heels. That struck him as odd. "I came to see if Em wanted to ride along."

Emily nodded, stepping around her father. Walking out of the room, she left the three adults in an awkward silence. Quietly turning on her heel, Gillian bolted.

Frustrated, Cal rolled his neck, and went after her. Quickly catching up, he grabbed her arm, and turned her around. "Wait, please… for a second at least." She was upset, that was easy to see. He realized he'd be lucky to get a full thirty seconds with her, but he had to try.

She crossed her arms, her foot tapping impatiently. Obviously, she wouldn't be speaking first.

"I get you might not be ready to talk about the whole everyone-knew-I-was-alive thing yet, but I'm worried about you, and I'd like to know what is going on with you."

Openly admitting to being worried was something new. It wasn't something he'd usually say, but she scoffed at him anyway, her shoulders rising and falling like she was laughing. "That's hilarious coming from you. You always want to know, but never want to give." Turing to leave, she made it a few steps before his words stopped her.

"I've been watching. Something wrong. I don't know what, but it's only a matter of time before I get to the bottom of it, and find out your secret."

Whirling around, she moved closer to him again. She was furious, her usually soft features hard. At some point he'd have to learn to stop poking her with sharp sticks. "Stop digging, Cal."

Nodding slowly, he licked his lips. "So, we're back to using your precious line. You on your side, me on mine."


	17. Story of Us: Part 3

_**Here's a short little something. Like it, don't like it; review it, don't review it, the choice is yours.**  
_

_The Story of Us: Part 3_

"_This is looking like a contest_

_Of who can act like they care less_

_But I liked it better when you were on my side_

_The battle's in your hands now_

_But I would lay my armor down_

_If you said you'd rather love than fight_

_So many things that you wish I knew_

_But the story of us might be ending soon_

_Now I'm standing alone in a crowed room and we're not speaking_

_And I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me, yeah_

_I don't know what to say, since a twist of fate when it all broke down_

_And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now, now, now_

_And we're not speaking_

_And I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me, yeah_

_I don't know what to say, since a twist of fate when it all broke down_

_And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now_

_The end."_

"Yes, for now. It didn't work out so well last time, and I'm not willing to put myself on the line until I'm sure I'm not going to be hurt like that again."

Cal took a calming breath, but still forced his words out through clenched teeth. "You're not the only one who lost someone, Gil."

Annoyed, barely a wisp of a frustrated sigh escaped. "I understand that…"

Breaking into her sentence, he cut her off. "I didn't just lose you. I lost you, and Em, hell, I even lost Loker. My whole life was ripped out of under me."

She poked him hard in the chest, angry that he apparently thought he should get some slack. Apparently his year had been harder to deal with. "At least you knew we were all alive. You left me here with a floundering business, everything you ever owned and your teenage daughter, and a ring I can hardly look at." Breathing heavily, she swallowed taking a minute to collect her thoughts. "I get it, I do. It was your dying wish, and I'm glad I was helpful, but do you know what that did? To me? To everything? I'd been waiting for months, and if I'm being really, truly honest with myself, it was more like years. And you finally managed it on your deathbed, no doubt." Trying to cut in, Gillian stopped him. "It's alright. Everyone has that one last thing they want. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad it was to marry me. I would have wanted the same thing, but to then find out you're not dead. That you didn't even seem to care…"

His face had darkened throughout her speech, and this time he didn't let her stop him. "I did die that day. I felt my heart stop beating, and for as long as I live I will never forget the look of terror I saw on your face."

What was there to say to that? I'm sorry I feel like you betrayed me? She hadn't wanted to have this conversation in the first place. She'd needed more time to think over everything. So, she said nothing at all.

Running a hand over his face, Cal firmly set his hands on his hips, and took a moment to look down at his shoes. His mouth seemed to be working faster than his brain was keeping up. "Maybe it was a good thing I got dragged away, stopped us of doing something stupid."

He'd wanted to reel the words back in, but he let them sit in the air. He could have said he didn't mean it, or apologized on his hands and knees, but what was the point? Currently, he wasn't sure whether or not he meant it.

"Yeah, maybe." She seemed unfazed to the gathered crowd. She didn't show any sighs of sadness, hurt, or anger. There was nothing at all.

As she turned to go, Cal spotted Emily standing in the decent sized group. Her face held the emotion Gillian's hadn't. He sighed not really knowing what to do, as she turned and left this his partner.

A hand contacted with the back of his head. Whipping around, he was slightly eager to see who had had the stones big enough to actually do it. He knew he deserved it and probably worse, but no one ever really stood up to him. This act of bravery was a rare sight. "You have a piss poor way of trying to make things right, you know that?"

He should have known it was Zoe. Apparently, he'd underestimated the bond they'd forged in his time away. She left without giving him a change to explain. Turning to the rest of the group, Cal raised his voice. "Anybody have anything else to add?"

Slowly, the crowd dissipated. Soon all that was left was Loker. The young man didn't move from his spot as he spent his two cents. "You're a terrible person."

Cal went back to his office, and slammed the door. Sometimes the radical honesty thing really pissed him off.


	18. No Light Can Save Us Now

_**The only reason this chapter is up so fast is because it has been written for weeks, the same cannot be said for the next one though cause it's only like halfway done. **  
_

_No Light, No Light_

"_You are the hole in my head_

_You are the space in me bed_

_You are the silence in between what I thought_

_And what I said_

_You are the night time fear_

_You are the morning when it's clear_

_When it's over you the start_

_You're my head_

_You're my heart_

_No light, no light in your bright blue eyes_

_I never knew daylight could be so violent_

_A revelation in the light of day_

_You can't choose what stays and what fades away_

_And I'd do anything to make you stay_

_No light, no light_

_No light_

_Tell me what you want me to say"_

Gillian sat with her head against the cool window, their fight running circles in her mind. Every word, every syllable, every little facial tick amplified. He finally said it, she'd been waiting. Since the night she shied away from him, she'd been excepting it. Now, he could say by sucking her into his world, he'd broken her, stained her innocence.

_Maybe it was a good thing I got dragged away, stopped us from doing something stupid._

Sure, she accepted that he would completely pull away at some point. There were too many secrets now, but she had thought it wouldn't hurt as bad as it had. She was ready it, but as the words hit her, she felt a burning travel through her body, pushed along with each quickening heartbeat, and then nothing. She didn't feel anything. Every part of her was numb, and she wished her heart and head would follow suit.

"You know he didn't mean what he said, right?" Emily took her eyes off the road for a moment, throwing a concerned look at Gillian.

"I know." It was a lie. A little something to put Emily at ease. Cal meant what he said when he was angry. It was only because people had the common decency to believe it when he said he didn't mean it. They had the decency to turn the other cheek, and believe him whenever he said he hadn't meant it. She had the decency.

What happened next both had trouble processing. Gillian closed her eyes against a pair of headlight coming at her. The angle struck her as odd, the light was coming from the side, and not from ahead like a passing car from the opposite direction. Before getting a good look, she was thrown to the side. Hitting the console before the force of Emily's correction threw her back toward the door. There wasn't much time to react as she saw the car inch closer and closer to the edge of the steep embankment. Suddenly, she wished they were stuck out the traffic like they should have been instead of taking the "short cut" back. With a finally nudge from behind, they watched the car go over.

Smashing into a large fir tree, they stopped, the back of the car raising a few feet off the ground before falling back to earth. The engine smoked, and the headlight that survived shined on through the fading sunset.

Emily shook her head. Letting out a sigh of relief that she hadn't died, she cursed. Someone had run them off the road, and she figured it was a good guess that they hadn't done it on accident. Rapidly blinking until her vision cleared, she fumbled around until she found the buckle, and unhooked herself. Opening the door, she fell ungracefully from the car, and laid for several minutes breathing deeply, thankful they were alive.

Snapping up, she realized she hadn't heard a peep from Gillian since before they were pushed over the edge. Scrambling to her feet, she noticed a twinge in her ankle, but ignored it. Through the driver door, the older woman didn't look too bad. She was slumped against the locked up belt, but Emily could see her back rising and falling. At least she was breathing. That was a good start.

Limping around to the passenger side, she could see the full extent of the damage. Half of each door was crunched in, the windows shattered. A trickle of blood whined its way down from Gillian's hairline, and Emily figured with the condition the door was in she'd, at the very least, have some horribly bruised ribs, and that would probably only be if she was lucky.

Reaching through the broken window, Emily gently patted Gillian's shoulder. "Gil?" She didn't respond. Emily gave her a hard shake. "Come on, Gil. You gotta wake up."

Gillian's eyes snapped open as the sudden jolt sent pain radiating through her. She blinked hard trying to clear her head. It seemed useless as her skull throbbed, and her ribs screamed at her. She realized someone was talking to her as the world stopped heaving around, and her vision focused. Struggling to right her head into the natural up position, it took a few dizzying seconds her to haul it upward.

"Oh, thank God. I didn't kill you." Emily gazed over the car into the tree line at something Gillian couldn't see and didn't hear. "We have to go. Somebody is coming."

Trying to speak, Gillian found her voice lost. Clearing her throat she tried again. "That's because they ran us off the road."

"I'd prefer if we don't find out if they're friendly or not. Dad pissed off a couple dozen people this past year. And they were probably kinda high on the criminal food chain, I'm guessing." Her eyes swept back down to Gillian. "Let's just assume they're no good." Gillian nodded in agreement of her assessment. "Okay, can you unbuckle?"

Gillian pushed down on the button and gave the belt a good tug. She groaned, and Emily, who had turned back to watching the trees, kneeled down to eye level. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she murmured, short, heavy pants forcing their way out. "It's stuck."

Emily masked her worry for the moment though she knew Gillian would see it if she looked. "Okay. I'm going to grab the stuff from the back, get you out of there, and then we're going to get out of here."

She sat back listening to Emily rummage around in the trunk. This was the perfect ending to her day. She could feel the blood dripping down her face, and wanted to wipe it away, but she was tired. Tired of fighting, of picking up the pieces, of life. The last year had relentlessly beaten her down. One thing after the other, no breaks, no pauses, and she was having trouble keeping it together now. He was back, alive, and everything should have been fine, better even, but it wasn't. They fought, and called names, and didn't talk for days at a time. Her life was falling to pieces around her, and she didn't know how to stop it.

Emily walked back to the front, a backpack on her shoulder, and a pocketknife in hand. Not saying a word she slid the knife through the durable material, and watched as Gillian didn't react to the belt slipping away, releasing her. Emily squeezed her shoulder, and cringed when she jumped. "Sorry. I'm going to try getting the door open if I can't you're going to have to crawl through the driver's side."

Getting the okay, she took a moment to examine the door. Huffing, Emily gave it a hard tug, but it didn't budge. Two more strong pulls, and still nothing happened. Breathing heavily, Emily sighed, and wiped her brow. "One more time then I give up." This time she didn't wait for whatever Gillian had to say, she pulled hard on the door, and was thrilled when she hear it creak, and felt it give a little. Repositioning, she used the car as leverage, and forced the door as far as it would go.

Gillian felt something move at her side, and a new wave of pain washed over her. The dull ache that had taken up residence roared back to life, renewed. She wanted to tell her to stop, to leave her and just go, but Gillian knew she wouldn't. She'd sit there, and wait it out with her, and she was in no position to force Emily to leave. Bowing her head, knowing that Emily wouldn't be able to see, she bit her lip hoping that would stop the yelp she felt building in her throat.

It was open, maybe a quarter of the way, it didn't look like much, but Emily had broken a sweat in her effort. Rifling through the back seat, she ordered Gillian to situate herself so her feet were out the door. Finding what she wanted, she shoved it in her bag, and turned back to the task at hand. Pulling her right arm around her neck, Emily hauled Gillian to her feet without warning. She was beginning to feel antsy, and wanted to get moving.

Readjusting her hold, Emily heard the woman beside her release a small yelp, and felt weighted down as Gillian no longer held herself up. The surprise extra weight dropped them both to their knees. Wiggling out of Gillian's iron grasp, Emily stood in front of her, squinting in the dim light. "Gil?" the name was laced with concern, and Emily was eager for Gillian to look at her, and tell her she was okay.

She knew she was making Emily nervous by not answering right away, but she couldn't seem to catch her breath. She just wanted, no, needed a few more minutes for the throbbing in her head and side to retreat to a manageable level. Knowing the waiting would just making worse, Gillian forced her head up. Squinting, she glanced over Emily before her eyes grew wide. "Are you… hurt?" she panted.

Confusion swept across Emily's features. "No, why?" Using her good arm, Gillian pointed. Looking down, it took her a few seconds to spot the difference. "That's not mine." Hurrying over to Gillian, she found her right side stained red. "Shit." Unintentionally, but roughly nonetheless, Emily pushed off Gillian and raced to the car. A bloody, jagged piece of metal stuck out from the mashed door. "Shit!"

"Stop… saying that."

Running back, Emily kneeled in front of her. Throwing off her backpack, she pulled off her thin jacket and balled it up.

"Put that back on you're…" she swallowed thickly, teeth chattering, "gonna freeze."

Emily figured that was highly unlikely. Spring had decided to start early, and though the nights still had a chilling bite to them, she had grabbed their thicker coats from the back seat. They would just have to wait a while to put them on, she could swear she heard someone coming.

Slinging the pack over her shoulder, Emily moved to Gillian's left side. "Not a chance. I'll put it back on in a few, once we're away from here." She situated Gillian's left arm around her neck. Looking her straight in the eye, Emily frowned slightly. "You're not going to like this." Reaching around, Emily placed the wadded cloth against the bleeding area. Holding tight, she hoisted them up, taking a majority of Gillian's weight.

"Shit," Gillian cursed, her legs not yet finding the strength to stand.

Emily smiled. It was rare to hear Gillian cuss, and funny every time it happened. "I thought you said to stop saying that."

Gillian huffed, her side felt like it was splintering into a thousand pieces. "I said… you had to."

A bang boomed through the trees. "Come out, come out, wherever you are."

Emily pulled them back down, and assumed whoever was out there couldn't see them from their position. Not looking back, she sped through her next thoughts. "We're going to have to do this quick and quiet. It's gonna hurt. When we have some distances we'll patch you up. Count of three: one, two…" She ignored three as another bang sounded. Dashing for the trees, she dragged Gillian with her.

He'd been pacing since she calmly walked out on him. Bearing his teeth, he snarled at whoever happened to be passing by. She could have had the decency to look hurt by what he'd said. He had even felt a sting as the words passed his lips.

He'd wanted it to hurt her. He'd wanted something, anything, some kind of reaction to let him know she was still in there. Saying he didn't get to talk to her that way, yelling, hell he would have settled for an eye roll and a disappointed sigh or if she'd slapped him. He would have deserved any of it, all of it even, but she hadn't done a damn thing to him. She hadn't leaked a damn thing.

His cell rang, and he considered not answering, his mind too busy trying to figure out her secret. He knew she was hiding something, but she was a fantastic liar. And he knew it now. It all depended on the lie.

Absentmindedly, he put the phone to his ear, and spat out, "What?"

"_That is not a very nice way to greet an old friend now, is it Dr. Lightman?"_

He glared at nothing, angry at the interruption. "Aren't you busy playing lock up or somethin'?"

"_Oh, haven't you heard? I was released, not enough evidence."_

"So, what? This chat is to inform me you'll be attempting some petty revenge?"

"_Of course not, that would be petty as you say, we're both adults, and I don't like to get my hands dirty, you know that. But some of my boys did not take too kindly to my absence, and they are a hard bunch to keep control over as you know."_

"You threatenin' me?"

"_Of course not, Dr. Lightman, that would be childish."_ The man on the phone paused letting the tension build. _"How is your daughter and Dr. Foster? They haven't been around much today, have they?"_

"You touch even a hair on either one of their heads and I'll rip your throat out."

"_Now, there's not need to get so violent, Cal. May I call you Cal?"_ He didn't wait for an answer just continued on. _"I can positively say I haven't touched a hair on their heads. By the way, it would not do well to threaten me, Dr – "_

"I don't make threats, you know that."

"_I'm sorry I have to cut this chat short, but you know I have a business to run."_ It was quiet for a couple seconds before his voice came back on the line. _"Ah, yes, I almost forgot. If you happen to see that precious daughter or lovely partner of yours again give them my regards." _With that he hung up.


	19. No Light Can Save Us Now: Part 2

_**Hello, fair people of FanFiction world. It's been a month or more since the last chapter, and I am here to say I have no excuse. Purely laziness on my part. Also due to laziness is the fact that I didn't carefully edit this. I'm pretty sure I keep switching from Gil to Gill, and when this is all done, and I go through it one last time I'll fix that and anything else I missed up on.**  
_

_**Let's see what was I doing the month I wasn't writing this. I watched all 4 season of Battlestar Galactica, but that only took a week, so that leaves roughly 3 to 3 1/2 weeks unaccounted for.**_

_**Like normal, I don't own anything, and I claim to have no knowledge about anything a maybe be writing about. I like to wing it. **_

_No Light, No Light: Part 2_

"_Through the crowd, I was crying out_

_And in your place there were a thousand other faces_

_I was disappearing in plain sight_

_Heaven help me, I need to make it right_

_You want a revelation,_

_You wanna get it right_

_But, it's a conversation,_

_I just can't have tonight_

_You want a revelation_

_Some kind of resolution_

_You want a revelation_

_No light, no light in your bright blue eyes_

_I never knew daylight could be so violent_

_A revelation in the light of day,_

_You can't choose what stays and what fades away_

_And I'd do anything to make you stay_

_No light, no light_

_No light_

_Tell me what you want me to say"_

As soon as they stopped moving, Gillian dropped to the ground, seemingly unaware as her knees hit the hard dirt. She felt woozy, and the lack of pressure on her side made breathing a task. She could hear Emily rummaging through her bag, and the whoop of triumph as she managed to find whatever it was she was looking for.

God, she was tired, and cold. It was an odd sensation. She felt warm, but the rest of her was cold to the touch. She could hear her teeth chattering, and she was having trouble getting her hands to work properly. Though, she figured that all could have to do with the minor blood loss she'd suffered, was suffering.

Gillian didn't respond right away as Emily scooched closer to her. It took a few minutes before it dawned on Gillian that Emily was by her side. "Where did you get all of this?" She asked panting, their impromptu run having stolen most of her breath.

Emily shrugged. "After dad got me the car, he filled the truck with anything I could ever need in an emergency. Looking back now, this may have been his best idea yet."

Watching her nod even though she wasn't really paying attention anymore, Emily took a minute to assess what she could do. She could bandage the wounds, but that was about it. Without Gillian's consent, Emily grabbed some gaze, and pressed down hard on her head wound. She heard Gillian hiss, but didn't say anything.

"You could have given some warning."

Emily give a mouth shrug. "I prefer the element of surprise." She waited a few minutes before ordering Gillian to hold the gaze in place for her. Kneeling down beside her, Emily eyed her bloody dress, wondering what she could possibly do to help.

Noticing, through half open eyes, the girl's hard expression, Gillian nudged her. "How bad is it?"

Not meeting her eyes, Emily shook her head. "Not bad." Though both knew she was lying and didn't have a clue. Gillian didn't call her on it, and Emily didn't offer anything else. They sat in silence for a minute before Emily started digging through her bag again on the hunt for more supplies.

Emily reached forward as though she was about to do something, but her hands stalled mid-air. They hovered for a beat before falling to her lap, useless. "I don't know what to do here, Gill."

Her eyes were no longer open, and her hand no longer held the gaze in place, it sat limply at her side. "Wrap it," she breathed out.

"You're not supposed to do that."

"If they're broken. We don't know that for sure, Em, so just do it."

"I'm pretty sure they're probably broken. Your side of the car as crunched."

Most of what she said Emily missed. She was muttering, and looking down, but Emily managed to catch a few phrase. "… don't have time… do it… deal with later…" Changing a glance, concern swept through Emily as she noticed Gillian seemed to have fallen asleep.

She needed her wake to up. Sleeping was a no-no, especially in their current situation. "Wake up!" Emily gave her a shake. Groaning, she weakly attempted to push away the offending hands. "You have to wake up, Gillian. Come on, we don't have time for this." When she still didn't emerge from the blackness, Emily knew what she was going to do, and she didn't like the thought of it.

Grabbing her already soiled jacket, she un-balled it and found a clean section. Looking at her still bleeding side, Emily held the cloth in her hand, and grimaced. Hopefully this would snap her out of it. Taking her covered, trembling hand she set it on the wound. Taking a deep breath, she pushed down, and cringed when she felt something move slightly under her cool digits. The blood was warm, and the smell thick. She had to suppress the urge to gag, and pushed down again.

Gillian's eyes snapped open as she groaned, and tried to pull away. She didn't make it far, Emily held her mostly in place. Slowly recognition lit her eyes, and she calmed down leaning tiredly against the rough bark of the fir tree.

"You have to stay awake. I'm not leaving you, and I'm not doing this by myself."

She didn't reply to Emily's comment. Keeping herself propped up, Gillian managed to hold her eyes open while Emily fiddled around. It took a few minutes before she spoke, letting the creaks of the wooded area bounce around her ears.

Putting her hands flat on the ground, Gillian pushed her up, scooting closer to the tree. "Can we get this over with?"

"Hold this."

Gillian reached over, and took over from Emily. Her face contorted in disgust as the warm liquid meet her fingers. It was hard to believe they were in this situation.

Taking what she'd piled back into the bag, Emily took the first aid kit out of the bottom of the pack. She shook her head wondering why she'd put it back there in the first place.

Gillian watched as the pile grew, and fell over. She spotted something familiar "You grabbed my purse?"

Emily stopped, and looked at her. Shrugging one shoulder she said, "Yeah, why wouldn't I?"

"Is my phone in there?"

Stunned for a second, Emily felt the urge to smack her forehead. She had no idea where her cell had ended up, and assumed Gillian's had been lost too. She could slap herself for not actually checking.

Ripping the purse off the ground, Emily sloppily dug through the contents. Fishing the plastic devise out, she quickly opened it. Her hopes high, her eyes wildly searched for a bar. "No signal." Angry at herself for not finding it sooner, Emily dropped the phone back into the bag, and grabbed the ace bandage from the first aid kit.

Leaning Gillian forward, she tightly wrapped the bandage around her, making sure it wasn't to tight before pinning it together. Surveying her handy work Emily said, "A few more minute here, and we should get going again." Reaching for a water bottle she continued, "We need to find a shallower incline to climb up. Drink this." She tossed the bottle to Gillian and watch as she fumbled to grab it.

Catching the bottle, Gillian bit her lip at the ripple of pain the motion caused. She was extremely grateful to Emily for everything she was doing. The pressure the bandage applied was a relief. She felt like she could breathe again.

Hearing the water slosh, she looked at the container in her hand. Her stomach twisting just thinking about taking a small sip. Wincing as Emily once again began to fiddle with her head wound; Gillian slowly untwisted the cap, and grimaced. Putting the bottle to her lips, she let the cool water flood her mouth and wound its way down her throat. The liquid hit her stomach like a cannonball, heavy and dense.

Tightening the cap, she breathed slowly through her nose, resisting the urge to be sick. Letting the bottle roll out of her hand, she noticed Emily had moved away from her, and was franticly stuffing any stray objects back into the bag. "What's the matter?"

Emily quickly threw Gillian a look, and signaled for her to be quiet.

Doing as requested, she sat silently letting her ears catch all the sounds around her. She found herself swaying before she even realized what she was hearing. Whistling, someone was whistling. She didn't recognize the tune, and she realized it was strange to be thing about if she knew the tune of her pursuers, but she couldn't seem to pull her brain away from it.

Roughly yanked off the ground, Gillian clumsily followed Emily deeper into the brush.

"You found them yet?" Lightman yelled out entering the lab, the door banging against the wall behind him. He was tense and agitated; a ball of nervous energy, bouncing off the walls, and biting off heads.

"No, can't find a signal for either phone. Probably out of range," Reynolds started. Hearing the man beside him practically growl, he continued, "What's this about anyway? I'm sure they just stopped off somewhere for a bite."

Running his hand down his face, Lightman shook his head. "I received a call earlier from Joseph Wolfer…"

"The arms dealer?"

Lightman glared at him, his eyes barely slits. "Shouldn't you know all this?"

Reynolds crossed his arms. "I was not privy to case information. It was need to know, and I had no need to know. It was amazing I even found out you were there."

Not caring for the other man's explanation, Lightman shook his head and went on. "He knows they're gone. If he doesn't have them already, I'm sure he's close."

"How is he connected to you?"

"I died here, woke up there. I'm sure he knew who I as from the beginning, but he played along. Fantastic liar, he is. This whole last year has been a game between Wolfer and whoever sent me there. It was a sloppy plan, poorly made where I play the disposable piece."

"Who's the other man? You had to have figured something out."

"High up in the food chain. Best guess law enforcement."

"Those are pretty heavy actuations you're throwin' around. How sure are you?"

"Positive."

The phone rang beside the oddly quiet Loker. Roughly grabbing it, he shoved to his ear, and barked, "What?"

"_Touchy today, aren't we Doctor?"_

"Course not, my day is going swimmingly." Pinching the phone between his shoulder and ear, Lightman grabbed the cradle, and began pacing the length of the lab.

"_I called to let you know, I heard there was an accident." _A pause echoed through the phone._ "No bodies where found at the scene, but I'm sure it's only a matter of time before they turn up."_

"I'm sure you're relieved."

"_Though, I'm told there was a decent amount of blood found. The poor thing. I don't know which one of your little pets is hurt, but I want you to know they're in my thoughts."_

Silence rang over the line. A million thoughts running through his mind until his focus was brought back to Wolfer as a small chuckle escaped him.

"_I can hear a rustling in the trees, Doctor Lightman. Can you hear it too?"_

Slamming the phone down, he tore out of the room, leaving his orders behind him. "Look harder."

Poking his head out the door, Reynolds watched him stalk off toward his office. "Where are you going?"

"To find the bloody bastard behind this."


	20. No Light Can Save Us Now: Part 3

__**OMG (I only use that for dramatic purposes by the way)! It's been a while. I still have no idea what I'm talking about, and I still don't have enough assets to ever own anything, like ever. **

**In case anyone is wondering, I do plan on finishing this at some point. But probably not for a while cause school is a soul sucking butt nugget, and because NaNoWriMo is almost here. Yay!**

_No Light, No Light: Part 3_

"_Would you leave me,_

_If I told you what I've done?_

_And would you me, _

_If I told you what I've become?_

'_Cause it's so easy,_

_To say it to a crowd_

_But it's so hard, my love,_

_To say it to you out loud_

_No light, no light in your bright blue eyes_

_I never knew daylight could be so violent_

_A revelation in the light of day,_

_You can't choose what stays and what fades away_

_And I'd do anything to make you stay_

_No light, no light_

_No light_

_Tell me what you want me to say"_

"Gillian?" Emily called out for her. They'd only stopped for a second, just enough time for her to catch her breath. She'd still been standing when Emily went ahead to see what the trail was like, or what the trail they were making was like. The only upside she could see was the sky was finally lightening, it'd be easier to maneuver, which also made it easier for them to be spotted.

Fear gripped her chest as she strained to hear the older woman's reply. "Gillian, where are you?" Emily's cry was loud and panicky. Louder than it should have been, she realized, but rational thought slipped out the window as fear invaded her senses.

It'd been a long night so far, and the day didn't seem like it was going to get any better. Hurrying back to the last place she'd seen Gillian, Emily's foot slid off a loose rock, and hit the ground sideways. "Son of a…" She didn't finish her cruse, a rustle of the underbrush pulled her attention. "Who's there?"

"Em, what happened?"

Head whipping around, Emily quickly scanned for the voice she was looking for. She sounded close, and tired. Gritting her teeth, Emily hobbled a little further until she was startled by movement to her right. Jumping as a hand reached out and grabbed her, Emily cursed yanking her arm away.

"Jesus Christ, Gillian! You scared the hell out of me."

"Sorry, I –" She trailed off as the half-panicked looked finally registered in her sluggish brain. Wanting to reach out and comfort Emily, Gillian felt the urge to apologize for not being somewhere Emily would've been able to easily spot her. She had just needed something to lean against, and the backside of the tree currently behind her had been the closest thing. The apology would have to wait; she didn't have the energy at the moment.

Managing a somewhat controlled descent, she hit the ground and leaned back. Closing her eyes, she heard Emily drop her bag and unzip it. She knew what was coming.

The few moments of blissful silence was interrupted as she felt herself being tapped on the arm with that damn bottle. "You need to drink some, Gill." Ignoring her, Gillian continued to breathe slowly, trying to quell her queasy stomach.

Emily tapped her again with slightly more force. "Come on, you have to drink something. You're bleeding; it'll help replace some fluids."

Gillian realized that she was only trying to help, but she was having a hard time excepting that fact presently. Her stomach already felt like a cannonball had taken up residents, and all she really wanted to do was burrow into her bed and never get back up. She would be content to live out the rest of her days in the safety of her blankets.

Pitifully, she attempted to push Emily's offending limb away, but the damn thing stubbornly stayed put. Sighing, she gave up, and took the half empty bottle; her hand, and it, dropping to the ground. Just looking at it made her gag. It was only a matter of time before everything came back up anyway.

Later she'd swear her heart stopped for a moment before it tried to rip its way out of her chest when she heard it: a soft rustle of bushes, faint, but heavy footsteps.

"Here kitty, kitty, kitty." It was hushed like there was still a good distance between them.

These men were just toying with them, she knew. They could have caught them hours ago if they'd wanted too, but they were apparently enjoying the chase. They'd caught up countless times only to fall back, and they'd been yo-yoing between the two all night.

This time was different though. They'd called out to them; they hadn't any time before, only gotten louder in their approach before backing off again. She thought, maybe, they were letting them know the game was over now. There would be no escape this time.

Emily stole the bottle from her still stunned hand, and shoved it back in the bag. Swing it over her shoulder, she stood. Grabbing Gillian's hand, Emily pulled her up too. Starting off, she stopped when there was a tug on her arm. She tried again to no avail, her ward refusing to budge. "What are you doing? We gotta go," a slight hysteria laced through her voice at Gillian's silent protest.

Giving another semi-hard yank, Emily understood the sad look she was on the receiving end of. She sniffed, dropping the cold hand from hers. "I'm not leaving you. I'm not."

Gillian shook her head, swallowing hard. With a shaking hand, she tucked chuck of blood matted hair back, just needing a second to fully resign herself to what she was doing. Taking a deep breath, she winced placing her hands on Emily's shoulders and looked her in the eye. "You are. You have too. Get to the road, find help. You have to do it, I can't."

She could hear their mutterings back and forth now, it wouldn't be long now. Emily tried to pull her along, her eyes glossed over. "No, no, no, no, no… I'm not – I can't leave you. We can make it… we can… w – come with me please!"

A wistful smile graced her battered features. Gillian pulled Emily in as tightly as she could, and squeezed as hard her angry side allowed.

"Olly, olly, oxen free, come out, come out, wherever you are."

The playful calls only made bruised woman's hold tighter. "I love you so much." Pushing Emily back to arms length, Gillian wiped at the watery escapee running down her face with one hand, and held Emily away from her with the other. Ignoring Emily's quiet objections and tears, Gillian turned her around, and let her hands fall. "Go." When Emily refused to move, Gillian shoved her away with all the power she could muster. "Go!"

It was an order, and one she would obey because she respected the older woman too much not to. Emily's ears caught the sound of crunching leaf litter and snapping twigs. Giving Gillian one last once over, she turned and ran.

Watching until Emily disappeared into the trees; she leaned against the coarse bark and slid down until she was firmly planted on the ground. God, she felt sick. Nerves, blood loss, and broken pieces could do that. She figured if she could time it just right, she might be able to hit a pair of shoes. The thought made her chuckle, then wince, and drop her head forward trying to breathe back the gray tinge at the edge of her sight.

The footsteps were close, so close. There was only a step or two between her limited line of sight and her chasers' – now captures' feet. As she sat listening to the steady breathing of the two men, she could feel her aching muscles tense, waiting for whatever was next.

"What do we have here? A little sitting duck."

The partner took a step closer, and knelled down. "Look at all that blood." Reaching out with the end of his weapon, he gave her a slight shove, and sighed dramatically when she didn't react. "They're not much fun like this. Not much fight left in 'em."


	21. Bleeding Out

**Holy hell, it's been a long time. I'm a terrible person for taking so long, so if you're still with me a big THANK YOU goes out to you. I realized I don't think I ever said thank you to anyone whoever read and/or commented, so thanks for that too. **

* * *

_Bleeding Out_

"_I'm bleeding out._

_So if the last thing that I do_

_Is to bring you down_

_I'll bleed out for you._

_So I bare my skin_

_And I count my sins_

_And I close my eyes_

_And I take it in_

_And I'm bleeding out_

_I'm bleeding out for you._

_When the day has come_

_That I've lost my way around_

_And the seasons stop and hide beneath the ground_

_When the sky turns gray_

_And everything is screaming_

_I will reach inside_

_Just to find my heart is beating."_

Emily ran until she hit the road, and almost didn't stop. Her heart pounded hard against her chest, each beat a painful reminder of why she'd been running in the first place.

Her mind was a whirl. Why was this happening? It couldn't have been from a case. No one had taken on anything that could be considered risky in over a year. Gillian wouldn't allow it. The possibility that someone would or could end up hurt was too high, and she hadn't been willing to lose anyone else.

Finally realizing where she was, she took in her surroundings: miles of tall trees, and small bushes, neither a great place to camp out. She stood at the base of a broad fir, letting her eyes scaling their way to the top. Up, she was going to have to go up. Her ankle was already going to be a problem, and hauling a heavy bag up behind her was not her idea of a fun time. Finding a place to hide it for the time being, she made her way back to her intended target.

Jumping, Emily grabbed a branch, and tried to pull herself up. Letting go, she dropped down with a huff, and winced as she landed, her ankle shooting a jolt up her leg. She needed to get up there, there was no way around it. It would keep her out of sight if they happened to come looking for her, and might even get her a signal. Taking a breath, she changed tactics. Grabbing hold of the branch, she faced the tree. Placing her feet on the bark, she climbed the side until she was hanging upside down. Hauling herself upright, she released a hot puff of air. "That went better than expected."

Reaching a decent height, Emily sat, letting her legs dangle over both sides. Fishing Gillian's phone from her pocket, she found the number she was looking for, and hit call.

Finally, after hours, he sat. There was nothing more anyone could do, except wait. More information would come in, soon, and they would pick up from there. Rubbing his burning eyes, Cal realized he hadn't slept in, somewhere around, twenty-four hours. It was a numbing exhaustion. He didn't feel like himself, and part of him didn't feel like any of this was real. It felt like a nightmare his brain would snap him out of at any moment. He waited for that moment, but his brain refused to wake him. Waking up alone in his house, in a gutter, in the drunk tank, prison, even would be better. Hell, still being dead would better than his current torment.

Zoe sat across from him, the same tired look in her eye. She hadn't said it yet, but she was laying all the blame at his feet. And every ounce was another weight around his neck. His hand slid in front of his eyes, as he realized it all was, by accident. He hadn't had control over the last year, hadn't asked for it, or even wanted to go. But he'd been pulled into it nonetheless, and others were going to pay the price.

Being pulled out of his thoughts by the buzzing of his phone, he dug around in his pocket for it. Grabbing it, he stared, dumbfounded, at the screen for a moment. Quickly standing, he connected the call.

"Gillian?" No reply came, but he could hear heavy breaths through the line. "Answer me, Gill."

Zoe listened intently as he growled into the phone.

"_Dad?_"

Rubbing his hand over his face, his relief was immediate, but tainted. If anything when they called, he had wanted it on speaker, so he could hear both of them. That way he was sure they were both still alive, still with him.

"God, Emily. Are you alright?"

"_I'm – I'm fine…_" Her words were cut off as Zoe snatched the phone from his hands.

"Emily? Emily, where are you?" She paced in a tight circle, both hands clutching his cell.

Pulling the phone away from her, Cal put it on speaker, and set it down on his desk. Reynolds and some of his team had gathered around during the commotion. The group waited for her to answer.

"_I don't know. Side of the road somewhere. Up a tree actually._" _Emily nervously looked around as a sharp yelp traveled to her. She pushed herself closer to the tree._

Reynolds piped up, his hands on his hips. "Can you tell us what happened?"

_Her voice dropped to a whisper in case they were closer than she had originally thought. _"_We were heading back, using the back way. Coming around a bend, this SUV came out of nowhere, and rammed us over an embankment…_"

About to ask another question, Cal jumped in, interrupting Reynolds. "Are you alright?" He asked, not believing her first answer.

_There was a light chuckle through the phone. _"_Sprained ankle, but otherwise yeah, I'm fine._" _She cleared her throat, and shifted around on her branch. _"_We hit a tree at the bottom. The car was pretty crunched up._"

Pushing the cell towards the middle of the glass surface, he leaned heavily against the desk, preparing himself for an answer he wasn't sure he wanted. "What about Gillian? How's she?"

_Emily coughed into the speaker. _"_She's pretty messed up, dad. Head, ribs, she had this gash in her side that we can't get to stop bleeding._" _ She didn't know if she had it in her to tell him the whole truth, and then add salt to the wound by saying she wasn't with her. But, they had to be ready when they made it to them. Bracing herself, she began only to be interrupted._

Cal bit the inside of his lip. "Put her on, will you?"

_She hesitated a minute, digging around inside to find the courage somewhere._ "_I can't. I'm not with her anymore._"

"Where is she, Em?" He barked. His voice was harsh, harsher than he'd intended, and he regretted it as the words flew out of him.

"_Two guys have her. They've been following us all night, catching up then slowing down. She – she couldn't keep going, I guess. She could barely hold herself up. She, ah, she stayed behind to distract them, and told me run._" _It was quiet a moment as sniffles worked their way into one speaker then out the other. _"_I'm so – so sorry, dad. I – I tried to stop her, but, but – but she…_"

It all came out in a jumbled rush, and he almost had trouble keeping up. "It's alright, Emily. Gillian knows what she's doing. Are you somewhere safe?"

_Wiping her nose on her sleeve, she shrugged. _"_I guess._"

Cal looked to the group surrounding him. "Can you locate the GPS?"

Firmly nodding his head, Reynolds answered, "Already done. We're packing up, and heading out. You coming?"

"Yeah." He replied almost before the question was asked. Turning back to the cell, he spoke. "Em?"

"_Yeah?_"

"Stay where you are. I'm coming to get you. Don't move."

"_I can't. I just left her back there. They'll kill her, dad. I'm going back, just hurry up._"

His hands smacked down on the glass top. "And what are you going to do to stop it, Em? What?" He waited for an answer, but none came. Taking a deep breath, he tried to calm down. "Just wait."

"_The break in the barrier won't be hard to find, especially in the daylight. When you get to the car, go to the passenger side, make a 180 and go straight. We'll probably be somewhere along there. If not, it'll give you a good place to start looking from. When I find her, I'll try to get her back to where the phone is, okay? Just hurry, she's not in great shape._"

Cal growled as the call was disconnected. Grabbing his coat, he rushed out his door where Reynolds was hanging up his phone. "Let's go."

Hanging up, Emily carefully maneuvered her way down until she dropped the last few feet. Hissing as her ankle twisted the wrong way, she limped away, leaving her bag where it was.

Quietly heading back the way she came, she didn't know how long she'd been walking when a voice sounded in front of her. Ducking behind a rather large tree, she listened. "Drop her. The boss called. The feds are on their way."

The other grunted before speaking, his voice slightly higher than his partner's. "Such a pretty bird. We could do amazing things, you and I." A growl and a thud reached Emily, and the straggled sound of someone trying to take air in. She forced herself to stay put, knowing she'd be no help if she was caught now. "Dumb bitch."

Hearing footsteps coming toward her, Emily braced herself behind the tree. Patting her back pocket, she felt around for the knife she'd slid in there hours ago. Coming up empty-handed, she quickly checked her other pockets hoping she'd only misplaced it. Nothing, it was gone. Maybe, they'd turn before they reached her. If not, she looked around for something to use as a weapon.

Her muscles were coiled tight, ready for a fight if it came down to it. Finding a decent sized rock, Emily grabbed it, and waited for them to pass by her.

It never happened though, the shadows veered off, one of the man cursing under his breath. She briefly wondered what kind of luck it was that changed their course as she dropped the hefty stone. Stealthily, her breath caught in her throat, she cautiously rounded the tree, eyes peeled for anything out-of-place. Seeing it was clear, she ran for the lump lying limply in the decaying brush.

Falling to her knees, Emily roughly shook Gillian, nerves and worry mixing together causing her gentle side to slip away. "Come on, open your eyes. Stop doing this to me today."

She stopped as a groan crawled out of the body. Gillian blinked unseeing, as her body tried to take in a large amount of air. She coughed violently, unaware as Emily sat her up. Finally realizing who was beside her, she sagged against the girl. "What are you – doing here?"

"I got to the road, they're on their way." Shifting into a crouch, Emily forced the two of them up. A small thud sounded. Looking down, she spotted her missing pocket knife. The shiny blade dulled with blood, and a wide grin cracked her face. "I left the phone up there, so it shouldn't be long 'til they find it, and hopefully us."

* * *

**I've decided if I ever do another story, I'm going to have most to all of it written before I start posting it... maybe.**


	22. I'm Bleeding Out: Part 2

**Sweet Jesus, I take forever. So, anyone still following along, sorry. It's mostly because I had the beginning and end, and not so much the middle, which I'm slowly wading through. Never again. Also, on a side note, this is the longest thing I've ever written. Hahahahahahahahahaha. I'll never finish a nano.**

* * *

_Bleeding Out – Part 2_

"_You tell me to hold on_

_Oh you tell me to hold on_

_But innocence is gone_

_And what was right is wrong_

_Cause I'm bleeding out_

_So if the last thing that I do_

_Is to bring you down_

_I'll bleed out for you_

_So I bare my skin_

_And I count my sins_

_And I close my eyes_

_And I take it in_

_And I'm bleeding out_

_I'm bleeding out for you."_

Standing at the top of the embankment, Cal could look down and see the trail of destruction blazing through the trees until the ground seemed to drop off. Branches and smaller trees were gone, missing, broken. Sap was filling in the wounds the assaulting vehicle had left them with.

He started down the incline, not willing to leave them out there alone for another minute, when Reynolds called out to him.

"You're not going down there with us, Lightman." Reynolds headed toward him, readjusted a strap on his vest.

"The hell I'm not," baring his teeth, he hunched his shoulders.

Ben wouldn't deny Lightman was intimidating, and he would agree that the Cal was downright scary at time, but at the present moment his need to be in the action was wasting time and daylight. His normal in-your-face attitude wasn't going to get him very far or help anyone.

Reynolds straightened up. "This is how this is going to go. You're going to go back up the road, and then you're going to wait with the other team." Checking his gun, he placed it back in its holster. "Emily said they'd be heading back toward the phone. Your best bet is to be there."

Glaring at the slightly younger man, Cal knew he wasn't going to win this battle, and reluctantly started off for the road. But a hand on his shoulder stopped him. "I got a whole team of guys out there. We're gonna find them."

He looked sincere and truthful, and Cal wished he had half as much faith.

* * *

Emily trailed a few steps behind Gillian. She knew the older woman was angry that she came back for her, that she put herself at risk. Emily didn't mind that Gillian was upset though, and she wasn't planning on apologizing for it any time soon. The tiny spark of rage, which had grown out of the well-intended deed, seemed to be the only thing really keeping her going. Her arms reached out, but didn't make contact as Gillian staggered in front, the bloody pocket knife still clutched tightly in her hand.

Before they had begun their trek back, Emily had plucked the knife from where it'd fallen. She'd been caught off guard by the abruptness of Gillian's hand snatching it from her known. She'd tried to pry the stained metal from Gillian's tightly fisted hand, talk her into handing it back, but it was useless. For seeming as weak as she did, Gillian was surprisingly strong, and the shorter brunette couldn't break her cold fingers away.

"Gill, you wanna take a break for a minute?" Emily knew her father would be standing there, if they didn't run into him first, when they finally made to the ridge. But Gillian shook her head and kept on while Emily continued to trail behind, letting the older woman be.

Gillian wasn't planning on stopping for anything less than a heart attack. And she didn't put it off as a possibility. She knew if she stopped now that was it, there was no more getting back up, she was done.

Her side was bleeding again, not the rush it had been earlier, but still steadily oozing. It had opened up when a foot assaulted her side, and hadn't stopped since. She shuddered, remembering the things the gruff voice had whispered. What he was going to do, to her, to Emily. Each slimy words bounced around her skull. Suddenly a thought crushed into her tired mind hard, and almost sent her to the ground. _What if it'd been a trick?_ They left only to draw Emily out. Two for one. It was easier than having to chase the girl down again. Gillian knew she wouldn't be able to fight back much, she was having trouble even holding herself up, and she didn't know if she could hold out long enough for Emily to get away again. Shaking her head, she had to grab a passing tree to balance herself. No, there was no time for stopping.

As the ground became steeper, Emily wasn't sure they were going to make it back. Knowing they were no longer being stalked, the adrenaline was beginning to wear off. Fast. Her head was pounding, and her ankle throbbed. Realizing her eyelids had slid shut, she forced them open, and watched as Gillian stumbled again, the falter in her step becoming more frequent. Emily listened to the harsh breaths coming from her adopted parent, and the way her feet dragged through the leaf litter, and knew she was running on empty.

* * *

He'd been pacing around for nearly an hour with no word. The whole waiting business was getting another five minutes, maybe, then he was charging in. In the silence, he heard a rustling through the trees. Looking around, no one else appeared disturbed by the slight sound. Stalking closer to the tree line, he watched as a tuft of brown bobbed at the ridge. He could have died of relief when he saw a dirty Emily climb up pulling a dirt and blood covered Gillian behind her.

As Emily got Gillian standing again, she heard her name. Turning in time to be caught in a massive hug from her father, she almost didn't think it was real, for a moment, before he twirled them around. She felt as he set her back down, grabbed her face with both hands, and placed a hard kiss on her forehead.

She stood, smiling, her hands firmly holding onto her father, her eyes closed. It almost impossible to believe it was over.

"Gillian?"

Hearing the concern in his voice, Emily looked back at her traveling companion expecting to see a similar look of relief. But, instead, she wasn't responding. Taking a few steps closer, Emily repeated her name, voice firm. That caught her attention, and when Gillian looked her way, an uneasy feeling settled in her gut. Their eyes stayed locked together until Gillian's shut, a shaky hand coming up to meet her head.

"Gill?" Cal approached his daughter, who was slowly closing some of the distance they had traveled away. He watched as she swayed, and before his brain could react, Gillian had crumpled to the ground.

Rushing to her side, he greedily scooped her up. Being so close, he realized how saturated she was, her clothes, hair, everything. He felt the red liquid seep into his clothes. The dark color pointed out how ghostly pale she was, and he felt his insides twist. This was all he fault.

He didn't know how it had happened or when, but he blinked and Gillian was gone, and Emily was pulling him along behind a group of paramedics.

* * *

**When it's done, I'll be going through it again to weed things out and in.**


	23. I'm Bleeding Out: Part 3

**Holy crap, it's only been like three days. Don't get use to it. Also I'm making all of this up, and mostly talking out my ass, so don't judge to harshly.**

* * *

_Bleeding Out – Part 3_

"_When the hour is nigh_

_And hopelessness in sinking in_

_And the wolves all cry_

_To fill the night with hollering_

_When you eyes are red_

_And emptiness is all you know_

_With the darkness fed_

_I will be your scarecrow_

_You tell me to hold on_

_Oh you tell me to hold on _

_But innocence is gone_

_And what was right is wrong_

_Cause I'm bleeding out_

_So if the last thing that I do_

_Is bring you down_

_I'll bleed out for you_

_So I bare my skin_

_And I count my sins_

_And I close my eyes_

_And I take it in_

_And I'm bleeding out_

_I'm bleeding out for you"_

Before he could blink again, they were at the hospital, sitting in a deathly silent waiting room.

Turning his head to the left, Cal spotted Zoe fussing over Emily, and briefly wondered when she'd arrived. Then wondered when he'd gotten there. He didn't remember it happening, not the ride in the ambulance, being stopped from following her into the back or anything in between. He shifted his eyes around the room, searching for a clock. Finding one behind the empty nurse's station, he squinted trying to make out the fuzzy numbers. Soon, he gave up, knowing by the ache in and behind his eyes it was late.

It had to be well past midnight, he thought, it had taken hours to get to and find them. Despite the late hour, Cal couldn't remember hearing any news, not that he remembered much, and assumed, because everyone, including Zoe, was still there, there hadn't been any.

Loker and Torres sat off in a corner, quietly muttering to one another. Any other place or day, and it would've been the perfect time to start making obscene comments. He was even willing to be on the receiving end of a scolding from Gillian accompanied with an eye roll from Emily. Life would be perfect.

His phone buzzing stole him away from his daydreams. Standing, his aged muscles protested. The phone slid easily from his pocket, and without looking, he answered. No words passed through his lips though, the caller taking control of the conversation.

_"I wanted to give you a few hours to get your feet back under you, Dr. Lightman."_ There was a cluck over the line. _"Emily is quite resourceful, and Dr. Foster has injured one of my men. You remember Otis, don't you Dr. Lightman? He said he is very fond of her. Said she had spirit." _

Scooting to the edge of his chair, Cal realized he was still covered in blood. It had dried, and was flaking, but the smell still ran up his nostrils, clogging his brain. And for a moment he couldn't think.

_"Cat got your tongue, Doctor?"_ Before getting the first word of his rage filled threat out, his was cut off. _"I would rather not start a war with a man as cunning as you are, Mr. Lightman. So, you bring me the man who tried to imprison me, and I leave you and yours' alone. What do you say?"_

"Who is he?" He could see the other's eyes on him, but he ignored it.

_"You're a smart man, Dr. Lightman. You'll find him."_

Cal's brows furrowed, and his jaw set, the small muscle twitching. "Tell you what, since you're feeling so generous, I'll do it. I'll find your man. I may even hand him to the FBI. And when all that is finished I'm coming after you." He flipped the phone closed with an audible clap. Pushing his fists into his eyes, trying to will the pain in his head back.

* * *

Gillian groaned, forcing her eyelids to reveal her dry orbs. The lights were dim, but she blinked rapidly, still feeling blinded by them. She heard a chuckle travel from her right, and she relaxed letting her head roll that direction.

"Welcome back to the land of the living, love," he grinned.

"That's funny coming from you," she rasped, returning the smile.

She coughed, and tried to push herself up, but found she lacked the energy, any energy. She barely caught when the cocky grin slipped from his face, and was replaced with a seriousness she'd become all to accustomed to.

"You know they're going to find out, yeah?" Cal watched her nod, her gaze refusing to meet his. "Sooner rather than later."

"I know."

They sat in silence for a long while, Cal fidgeting in his seat. He waited impatiently for her to break the quite, but for all his silent urging, she merely laid there, staring out the ceiling. He stood as a knock sounded, the thuds loud in the noiseless room. "Got to go, that'll be me, love." Grabbing her cold hand, he lightly squeezed it, and dropped it as the door opened.

Emily bound into the room, bouncing to Gillian's bedside, she leaned over trying to pass out an awkward hug.

Gillian smiled brightly at the girl, who'd managed to save both of them. But it faltered, and slipped as the door clicked shut, and she saw Cal standing there, his hands shoved deep into his pockets.

He sauntered toward them, an amused look crowding his face, but relief filled his eyes.

"What are you guys doing here? I didn't think they'd let you back so late." Gillian realized her throat ached, but her voice was far less horse than it had been.

"We snuck back," Emily piped up, tired eyes sparkling.

Cal rocked on his heels, clearing his throat. "Doctor said you were pretty banged up, and you're going to be sore for a while, but you'll be fine."

Taking the information in, Gillian nodded. "When can I leave?"

"Ah, tomorrow, I think, if everything pans out tonight. If not, we'll break you out. How's that sound?"

"Good." Bring her hand, Gillian covered her mouth as she yawned. As hard as she tried, she couldn't force her eyelids back up. She squeezed Emily's hand as the girl told her they'd be back in the morning, and her gut twisted as the slender fingers slipped from her grasp. She almost reached out for them when a warm, rough hand engulfed hers.

His breath ran across her ear as he spoke softly. "You want us to stay?"

Breathing in, she fleetingly wondered how she didn't notice the lack of feeling she had, and quickly thanked whoever was out there for morphine. She shook her head once, her eyes still closed.

Placing a peck neatly on the corner of her mouth, he straightened up. "We'll be back for you in the morning."

They slipped from the room quietly, only to be met with the angry face of the night nurse. Scurrying away chuckling, the laughter died as they were stopped by the sound of hurried footsteps.

"Mr. Lightman, I'm glad you're still here. I wanted to run some things by you, I'm not sure how much Dr. Foster is going to remember tomorrow. I thought it was best to let you know what was going on as you're listed as her next of kin."

Both father and daughter's eyebrows pinched together as they threw questioning looks toward the other. Fishing in his pocket, Cal pulled the car keys out, and handed them Emily. Someone had dropped it off earlier, and he was thankful he wasn't having to ask Zoe for a ride. She took the keys, but didn't move away from the two men.

"I want to stress how important it is for her to make an appointment with her neurologist when she leaves. I've given her a temporary prescription, but I highly recommend she go check in with him. The seizures are only going to get worse. I'm surprised she hasn't been showing other symptoms. I don't know why she didn't take care of this earlier-"

Emily cut through the man's words without a second thought. "Wait, what are you talking about? Gillian was in a car accident. You said she was going to be fine. What seizures?"

Confusion then shock coating the doctor's boyish face. "You don't know?"

"Don't know what?" Cal growled out, already tired of the child-like man.

The dark haired man's Adam apple bobbed as he swallowed hard. "Dr. Foster has a brain tumor."

* * *

**Dun dun dunnnnnnn! What ever will happen? I have no clue, just making this up as a go.**


End file.
